How many random strangers do you think you'd have to ask to have sex with you before someone said "yes"?
Seriously. Approximately how many people do you think you'd have to walk up to and say nothing but the following:
"Excuse me. Would you like to have sex with me?"
before someone actually said:
"Um. Sure, what the fuck. Is here ok, or do you want to go inside?"
I figure that if you're a halfway decent looking woman, the answer is probably five or ten men, max. If it's a man asking, I'm not so sure, but it's got to be some limited number. I don't know, say 200. Maybe 300, max?
I think in general, though, whatever the answer is for either sex, there must be some kind of correlation between the attractiveness of the person asking, and the ugliness of the person being asked. Let's face it, we all have a general idea of what league we're in. And if you ever have a chance at an incredible bargain, there's a good chance you're gonna go for it. A "bargain", of course, being defined as your value in terms of sexual attractiveness having a momentary above-average purchasing power.
So, statistically, attractive people can afford to say "no thanks, I don't fuck strangers" more often than can ugly people. Therefore, regardless of your own looks, if you ask 1000 ugly strangers to have sex with you, I suggest that you will be successful more often than when you ask 1000 good looking strangers the same question.
However, there are other variables involved, the most obvious one being: how you ask the question. Your manner of asking the question may convey a greater or lesser degree of self confidence. Self confidence helps in two ways. First, many people are more attracted to self confident people. Second, if you convey confidence while asking a stranger to have sex with you, you're more likely to succeed in convincing the stranger that having sex with strangers is a perfectly normal thing to do. I.e., if the question "Would you like to have sex with me?" sounds more like "Would you tell me how to get to 34th Street?" you're more likely to get a "Why, sure, right this way."
But before we throw too many variables into the equation, let's make sure we curb any cheating before it starts. For one thing, there's absolutely no smiling allowed during the conducting of this experiment. Nor may you add any other layers of communication to the transaction. For example, you may not walk up to a deaf person and, while asking them verbally to have sex with you, simultaneously use sign language to run down a list of your pros and cons as a sexual partner. This type of activity will skew the results, and as such is not allowed.
Nor may you wink. Winking, while on a superficial level, appears to contradict your request for sex, actually achieves quite the opposite results. In reality, a question like "Would you like to have sex with me?" combined with a playful wink, can only mean the following:
"Would you like to have sex with me? Just kidding, I'm only playing around. But I do think you're kind of cute, which is why I decided to walk up to you and ask you this playful question to begin with. So, given that I think you're cute and that I think you're worthy of such a playful gesture, I'm hoping that you might feel complimented by this question, and therefore maybe even like me enough to fuck me. So, let me ask you again. Would you like to have sex with me?"
As you can see, winking is simply prohibited if we're to achieve scientifically valid results.
With the above analysis, I think we've seen that it's time we update an old cliche:
"A penny saved is a penny earned."
Becomes:
"Keep playing the slots, and eventually you'll hit the jackpot."
Now, you might argue that there are wiser methods of making money. However, we're only talking about pennies here. And who doesn't like jackpots?
You can afford to ask at least one random stranger every day to have sex with you without really going out of your way. For example, you can ask the person in front of you in line at Starbucks. If the person says "no", then just order your venti chai latte and go on with your day. If he or she says "yes", even better. You get the most pretentious fucking drink on the planet, plus you get, well, you get sex. Nothing goes down better than it does with sex.
Don't get me wrong. There are risks involved.
Eventually, you may become known as "that guy who wants to fuck everyone he meets". This is not the kind of reputation you want to have, especially if you ever want to fuck someone more than once. My solution? Move to a different city once you've exhausted your resources. If you can no longer enter a Starbucks, for example, without all eyes rolling, it's time to pack up.
The good news is that sexual partners are a renewable resource. By the time you make your way through a sizable portion of the human race, there will be more sexual candidates of legal age and hence potential targets of your inquiries.
Along the way, you can keep a journal of your experiences, as well as all the relevant numbers with which to compute your statistics. This information should be more than enough to write a book, providing you with a comfortable living while you ask more people for sex.
I wish you good luck in your endeavors.
