As our leaders are constantly reminding us, every citizen can participate in the war against terrorism. Even citizens who want to drink shitloads of beer and act like complete fucking idiots.
Therefore, fellow Americans and friends of America, take this Friday or Saturday night (or if you're in college, any day for Christ's sake) as an opportunity to support our troops by drinking lots of beer! Oh yeah, and that thing about fighting terrorism.
Remember, terrorism comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of the worst kind comes in cans marked "Meister Brau". (But once you understand the root causes, you can see why so many people turn to Meister Brau.)
As a service to all our beer-drinking, sofa-sitting soldiers, we hereby present Anti-Terrorist Drinking Games. Every one of the games will enable you to kick some Islamic fundamentalist ass, while at the same time enjoy that crisp, clean taste of barley and hops. And the best part is, while no real casualties will be caused, you can at least rest assured knowing that drinking alcoholic beverages will piss off Osama bin Laden to no end.
We can all do our part in the war against terrorism. So why not start today by picking up a few cases? Now get fighting, soldier!
