STH Newsletter

Occasional updates, plus bonus idiotic ramblings. (We've never sent more than one e-mail per month.)

Planning an Altruist-Themed Birthday Party

by Jason Roth

Party Favors

Nothing starts an altruist birthday party better than giving out good, old fashioned party favor bags. Fill each bag with photos of the corpses of children who weren't fortunate enough to live as long as your child. Ask the children to draw party hats on the corpses' heads. When they're finished, place the photos on the floor, and have the children gather in a circle around the photos while holding hands, swinging from side to side, and singing a prayer in remembrance of all the children who died just so your child could have the party.

In addition to photos of dead children, you might also want to stuff the party favor bag with stale bread, rice, and miniature cardboard tombstones. Your child's friends will love the chance to experience how children in other countries celebrate their birthdays. This is also a good time to segue into a group-baking of the family pet.