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Go back to: home  stupidity classifieds
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Page 1 2
Classifieds #3
by Aaron Kendall
- Government agency seeks novice assassin with at least two years of experience who can slew hundreds of people at a time and deliver mail on a punctual basis.
- Animal-loving house-trained gimp seeks partner who will beat the living crap out of me. Will welcome candidates who will force small mammals into my backside. No endangered species, please.
- Republican debater seeking piles of worthless statistics and quotes to use against liberal Democrat in upcoming philosophical debate. Especially seeking bad political puns that make people cringe.
- Big-ass fat slob seeking clothes that can withhold the enormous pressure exerted by my monstrous body. Must able to hold at least three gallons of perspiration.
- Government interested in any ideas about creating new regulations on anything. Regulations on masturbation, trimming hedges, and shopping cart construction will be considered.
- Homo Sapien sperm with strong potential of making good-looking, intelligent individual seeks amiable female egg. No discrimination as to species. Should enjoy Calypso.
- Whip-cracking dominatrix looking for leather-clad gimp who ran away without permission. (Loves animals up his rectum.) If found, punish him then return to me ASAP.
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