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Page 1
10 Warning Labels
by Jason Roth
- Lighter
Warning: Keep away from people who need this warning label.
- Vodka
Warning: Pregnant women should switch to beer if fetus starts kicking.
- Vacuum cleaner
Caution: Unplug before fucking.
- Microwave
Caution: Uncovered live rodents may splatter.
- Vibrating bed
Caution: You will get wet on this ride.
- Airbag
Attention: To activate, decompress break pedal and direct car towards wall.
- Elevator
Caution: You may get beaten by other passengers if you get off on the first floor, you fat lazy bastard.
- Public pool
Warning: No doing cannonballs near leathery old bitches.
- Electric fan
Caution: Do not torture little brother without peer supervision.
- Fat chick
Warning: Do not operate under the influence of alcohol.
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© Copyright 1999-2005. All site content copyrighted by the author.
Any other content, including all section and column names, is copyrighted by Jason Roth.
To beg for, uh, request reprint permission, e-mail reprints@savethehumans.com.
All other feedback to: feedback@savethehumans.com
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