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Page 1
Useless Attire for Post-Necktie Culture
by Jason Roth
- The nose helmet
- Beer gut doilies
- Finger socks
- Speedo suspenders
- Spandex elbow warmers
- Glow-in-the-dark eyeball shields
- The butt toupee
- Designer tooth caps
- Armpit deodorant bags
- Tongue muffs
- "Jamaican style" nostril-hair beads
- The penis sweater
- Decorative earlobe mitts
- Blinking nipple buzzers
- Head-mounted faux ice sculptures
- "Conjoined twin buddies" for kids
- Internet-ready eyelash clips
- The Chia vest
- Chin-fitted crumb catchers
- Toenail straps
And finally...
- The neck sponge
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