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Page 1

Top 10 Ways to Celebrate New Year's Eve in the Middle East

by Jason Roth


     
  1. Watch the dead goat drop.
     

  2. Hold a cocktail party at the Hamas headquarters, black tie and self-detonating explosives optional. (BYOB - Bring Your Own Bomb)
     

  3. Make a New Year's Fatwa to lose weight.
     

  4. Get drunk and whip your Hizballah buddies in the ass with your head towel.
     

  5. Have a dinner party with leftover American food drops.
     

  6. Set off the noise makers in your sneakers.
     

  7. Pass out the cocktail weenies and Jello shots and stone an adulteress to death.
     

  8. Kiss your 50 wives for good luck.
     

  9. Rent a stretch camel and hit the town in high heels and your shortest mini-burka.
     

  10. Play drinking games with Al-Qa'ida. (Osama's the Asshole!)

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