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The 18 Stupidest Google Searches I've Ever Made Just So Some Schmuck Would Find the Keywords in His Referrer Logs

by Jason Roth

1. "mother in law won't shut up butcher knife"

2. "where do I find Google and how do I search with it?"

3. "starting to regret my sex change"

4. "websites that let you sign up for free e-mail notifications about purchasing Viagra and Cialis"

5. "hacking into web servers by entering special UNIX strings onto the end of URLs"

6. "starting a virtual bidet business"

7. "is the moon really made out of cheese? you gotta be fucking kidding me if it really is. I'm serious, don't bullshit me."

8. "penis stuck in bowling ball"

9. "making money photos affair with president"

10. "Wanna buy some software? Ha, ha, just found a new way to spam you, you fucking geek."

11. "legality of researching potential crimes on Google for planning purposes"

12. "random search of the day number 438"

13. "I'm getting paid to do this"

14. "feeling suicidal need a reason to live"

15. "insider information on Google executives that will bring down the company"

16. "feeling suicidal need a reason to live just kidding that last search was a joke"

17. "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz"

18. "Hey, fuckhead, when you're done checking your referrer logs, look out the window. That's me out there. I'm watching you."