Superman
Pro
The power to see through the walls of the girls' locker room.
Con
Star point-guard Lex Luther putting kryptonite in your jockstrap.
Zan
Pro
Having a hot twin sister gets you invited to all the cool parties.
Con
Having to ride to the prom as a bucket of fucking water.
Spiderman
Pro
Your talents with mosquitoes make you a hit at the beach party.
Con
Having a wet dream and waking up in a cocoon.
Batman
Pro
Your utility belt must have something to get that cheerleader's bra off.
Con
Robin up front in the Batmobile constantly nagging you for sloppy seconds.
Hawkman
Pro
Not having to rely on your best friend's older brother for rides to the movies.
Con
Breaking curfew and getting your wings clipped.
Plastic Man
Pro
The ability to lick pussy all the way from the living room.
Con
Passing out at the keg party and waking up with your penis tied in a knot.
Wonderwoman
Pro
Not sure if your boyfriend is screwing Supergirl? Whip out your magic lasso.
Con
Getting your first period in the invisible jet, in full view of the entire Delta Airlines baggage crew.
Daredevil
Pro
Being able to duck beneath airborne mashed potatoes during mean-spirited "let's peg the blind kid" food-fights.
Con
It takes more than radar to steer the sub, if you get my drift.
The Incredible Hulk
Pro
Never having to be a benchwarmer on the football team.
Con
Unwanted erections in Algebra knocking your goddamn books off the desk.
The Flash
Pro
Being captain of the track team looks good on your college applications.
Con
World-record premature ejaculations.
Aquaman
Pro
None.
Con
Talk to fish? Congratulations, you're a supergeek.
