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Obituaries Cut from the New York Times
Nefron Dolittle
by Jason Roth
Nefron Dolittle, respected proctology research assistant for the famed Dr. Albert Von Buttocks, will be deposited like a human enema into Mother Earth's backside two weeks from next Tuesday. Dolittle, whose dream was to examine the human rectal region ever since he thought he heard Julie Andrews sing the words "anal vice" in The Sound of Music, will be buried with his favorite plastic ass model, the one he and Dr. Von Buttocks often referred to when explaining to their patients the exact size, location, and severity of a given lump of ass cancer.
Dolittle's cheerful attitude around the office and playful fondness for the "if you have gas that means you're going to die" whoopee-cushion waiting-room gag, will be fondly remembered.
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