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Obituaries Cut from the New York Times
Mrs. Margaret Williker
by Jason Roth
Mrs. Margaret Williker, beloved wife of Mr. George Williker and hot, sexy mistress of Vinnie "Three Legs" Bambino, was fucked to death last night by Harold Clover, while cheating on the man she usually cheated on her husband with every Thursday evening in the children's section of the public library. Mrs. Williker will be missed for her ability to shatter the glass on the cabinet containing diorama recreations of the novels of Mark Twain with her now famous piercing, high-pitched scream that often caused her to be forcibly ejected from the library with a copy of "Clifford the Big Red Dog" still stuck to her sweaty ass.
Mr. Clover and Mr. "Three Legs" Bambino will join Mr. Williker this Sunday evening at the McDeward's Funeral Home for a caring tribute to the woman who "fucked those two other fucks so fucking much and still had time to spread those chicken legs for me. That whore."
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