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Page 1
Two More Post-Casey-Martin Supreme-Court-Endorsed Athletes
by Jason Roth
- No-Legged Skiers
It's just plain wrong to discriminate against the legless and the stumpy. To accommodate the special needs of the legless athletes in the ski world, the legless will be permitted to take the ski lift down the mountain, in addition to taking it up.
- Retard Chess Players
Don't feel like carting your pawn across the board one square at a time? No problem. Drag that sucker across the board eight spaces in a row diagonally if you feel like it. As a retard chess player, you get your own special legal moves. Special tactics include: mating with your own drool, bashing your opponent over the head with a chair, and rook/king-pawn defecation.
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