STH Newsletter

Occasional updates, plus bonus idiotic ramblings. (We've never sent more than one e-mail per month.)

Top Ten Rejected Gore/Lieberman Campaign Slogans
September 14, 2000

The Savethehumans Version:
by Aaron Kendall

10. Alone, they're just two boring, unproductive government officials. But together, they're twice that.

9. A white Southern boy and a Yankee Jew come together to ruin a nation full of potential and dreams. A story born only in America.

8. Politicians. Leaders. Soulmates. Loving you...and loving each other with sloppy kisses.

7. Taking away your guns, your money, your entertainment, and, ultimately, your life...all in the name of saving some stupid kids.

6. The only ticket with a vice-president who will fight stubbornly for the causes of Socialists, even if they did gas his uncle Ira in a concentration camp.

5. We'll make room for everyone at the table of prosperity, especially if it means smashing the heads of the guys who brought the food to the table.

4. Return to traditional American values: with a white guy at the front of the store and a Jew crunching numbers in the back.

3. We're here to make America resemble our wonderful public school system: if one person fucks up, we're screwing the whole class to the wall.

2. With both the Bible and the Torah on our side, America will be God's favorite country and the other religious fanatics won't stand a chance.

1. Without Tipper Gore, who else will fill the shoes of a cold-hearted, bossy bitch the way Hillary did?