STH Newsletter

Occasional updates, plus bonus idiotic ramblings. (We've never sent more than one e-mail per month.)

Instead of...
Accepting the notion that euthanasia is wrong,
I'd rather...

by Aaron Kendall

1. ...be first in line when playing Russian Roulette with a loaded shotgun.

2. ...impale the judge who sentenced Kavorkian to prison with a rusty pipe, drop her into a deep pit, and dangle some cyanide tablets from a fishing line so that's just out of her reach.

3. ...take a tape recorder back in time to when Jesus Christ was crucified and record him screaming "Oh, for the love of Daddy, just go on and get the damn thing over with!"

4. ...lead an organized pro-euthanasia demonstration to the center of the Washington Capital, where thousands of colleagues and I would simultaneously hang ourselves to demonstrate our point.

5. ...be the janitor in Japan who has to pick up the splintered pieces of flesh and bones of Japanese students from the sidewalk in front of a skyscraper.

6. ...have that dream where you're falling, and then wake up in my car in mid-air to realize that I just drove off a cliff while sleeping at the wheel.

7. ...play the popular Greenwich Village game "Spin the AIDS-filled syringe".

8. ...decorate my apartment with the twenty-year-old dead corpse of my grandmother.

9. ...get a birthday gift which contains only two things: a bottle of vodka and a bottle of sedatives.