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Creative Recipes for the Socially-Conscious Cannibal
by Jason Roth
Roast Leg of Social Worker with Mango Chutney
- Hack off one social worker's leg with a hack saw or hand axe. (Freshness is not so important at this stage, since most social worker flesh begins to ferment even before the social worker has been slaughtered.)
- Slice lengthwise along the underside of the leg. The social worker's underdeveloped muscles make for easy slicing; however, you may find it helpful to let the leg sit in the sink of a slumlord's unheated apartment for several hours before attempting to cut.
- Next, pull open the incision with your hands, and sprinkle freshly ground thyme, rosemary, welfare checks, food stamps, lottery tickets, and receipts for big-screen TVs inside the social worker's leg.
- Place in a large roasting pan, and bake for 90 minutes at 350°.
- Baste frequently, as the juices (composed of the blood of poor people) are quite tasty.
- Serve with individual portions of mango chutney, bibs, and baby spoons with which you will use to feed your guests, as human beings are not capable of feeding themselves without your help.
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