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Creative Recipes for the Socially-Conscious Cannibal
by Jason Roth
Vegetarian Animal Rights Activist Au Gratin
- Baste one lean vegetarian animal rights activist in two quarts of monkey's blood.
- Simmer in a lab rat bouillon for 20-25 minutes.
- Place one organically grown apple in the vegetarian's mouth and fasten lips together with hypodermic needles contaminated with a disease as yet uncured due to a lack of animal testing.
- Bake for 35 minutes at 450° until no longer pale and visibly malnourished.
- Sprinkle with soy cheese and serve with a side of southern-fried dolphin intestines.
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