Responses:
Name: Chortles
E-mail: bilobaska@hotmail.com
Hell is where the heart is.
1/26/02 11:08:25
EST
Name: Tekaine Moonshadow
E-mail: silver_starfire13@hotmail.com
Web page: www.geocities.com/dragonmage_path/
If someone were to create a place for their soul to go suffer after they died and name it Hell, I would imagine that it'd really be a modern high-school class with the oldest, horniest lesbian bitch of a mathematics teacher that could be found.
1/26/02 10:57:43
EST
Name: HandfulOfDust
Heaven is lying half-asleep in a warm bed without a care in the world.
Hell is an hour of Heaven, then never feeling that way again.
1/21/02 14:38:17
EST
Name: nandini
E-mail: somone@hotmail.com
hell..
nothing to eat but jell-o...
nothing to drink but coke...
nothing to see but modern art..
nothing to hear but fingernails scratching blackboards..
07/22/01 21:23:00
EST
Name: Mike
I don't belive in hell, or heaven, but if I went to hell, my Dante's Inferno would be a heaven filled with Christians, telling me, "I told you so!" for all eternity!
07/14/01 15:20:29
EST
Name: Lacey
E-mail: rodmanswife@hotmail.com
I believe there is a hell and I know it is a place that no one wants to go. You know what God didn't make hell for anyone of us he LOVES US so much!!! He made hell for satan and his demands. However I also believe there is a heaven and it is a place everyone wants to go it is going to be so wonderful, words can not explain!!!!!!!
06/11/01 10:06:01
EST
Name: Rusty
E-mail: hippy_hunter@hotmail.com
Hellfire and brimstonw and all that seems threatening enough if your looking forward to an eternity in a place with golden streets (whatever the hell that means). But lets be realistic. What could endlessly torment the mortal soul? I think the answer is obvious. Rosie odonnell. That obnoxious tub has been angering me since the first release of (as if this isnt bad enough) tickle me elmo. I swear to god. Ide immedialty cling to organized religon like a good trusting sheep with a threat (and a heavy one at that) like rosie hanging over my pervervial head.
04/24/01 16:34:34
EST
Name: Dean West
E-mail: TelJury@Hotmail.com
Web page: www.teljury.homestead.com/index.html
I believe in neither heaven or hell except as what each one makes for him/herself here on Earth. But here are clever ideas:
1. You spend eternity with no pain, but just above you is heaven...always there and always unattainable. (Credit to author Jack Chalker in his Dancing Gods trilogy)
2. You live your unrational life over again, with no specific memory, but a vague feeling of deja vu boredom.
3. You find yourself on an empty landscape, stretching out infinitely, with nothing above. You wander, or sit, or scream...forever.
4. You find yourself in heaven...and realize that the song "Amazing Grace" was true, "When you've been there, ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, you've no less days to sing God's praise, then when you first begun." Now that IS scary. Picture the funnest things imaginable. Will they be fun after a billion, billion years? Will it be fun to realize that after a trillion, trillion years, you have just as much time left as when you first started?
5. I note that the above all assume a consciousness that is conscious for eternity. I think "Eternity equals Hell", no matter what the form.
04/22/01 15:40:49
EST
Name: Mark
Hell would be a bunch of "religious wackos" screaming at you telling you that the world they live in is fire and brimstone
What exactly is brimstone?
Heaven would be playing second saxophone for a nude all-girls band in New Orleans
10/04/00 11:01:53
EST
Name: Amber
E-mail: roark3@angelfire.com
Web page: www.iit.edu/~greeamb
Hell would consist of a perpetual mix of Boy Bands and their counter-part Brittany Spears. If put in this hell, knowing that I was already dead would make no difference. I would continually commit suicide over and over.
09/06/00 11:25:55
EST
Name: Socrates
What is Hell?
Well, Socrates, I don't really know.
Heaven is where all one's virtues are rewarded with Justice, and Hell is where all one's vices are rewarded with Justice.
That sounds good.
But what is a vice, master?
Vice is all that which serves the earth and this life.
Yes, that is what is said.
So, Hell is the place where justice is done to those who practice serving life.
Of course, but what is that?
Justice, we have aggreed elsewhere, is the bringing forth of neccessary consequence, correct?
Yes, yes we did.
And so, what then would be the neccessary consequence of practicing habits of always serving life?
Well, I supposing life would be.
Obviously. Thus, clearly, Hell is where those who serve the earth and this life get the results of such, which is life.
But master, we are all alive right here on Earth.
That is correct. Life is Hell, Hell on Earth.
09/06/00 10:25:07
EST
Name: av
Hell would be a place where the only music played is from the Barenaked Ladies
08/20/00 16:24:22
EST
Name: Darva
Jehova's witnesses.
p.s. I want my life back!
06/27/00 06:48:40
EST
Name: Satan
All TVs are tuned to MTV and the same 'Pogues' jinglepopsong is played over and over and all TV controller gizmos have flat batteries...
Now y'all know what to look forward to...
06/05/00 11:38:54
EST
Name: leaf fan
Hell Is Dallas taking the cup again, and Don Cherry throughing in the towel, and bended knee, praising Ron Mclean.
Hevean--the obvious The Leafs take the cup and conquer any American Hockey. Witnessing Mats Sundin continuosly skate over Mike Pecca, and Jamir Jagr.
Editor's note: Caneighdian English?
05/25/00 15:43:35
EST
Name: MerGirl
Muzak. Evangelical Christians as far as the eye can see. The smell of salmon cooking. Three Stooges movies 24/7.
Heaven? Marvin Gaye music all day and All the Evangelical Christians you can eat. Medium-rare.
05/24/00 15:36:55
EST
Name: Sherri B
Hell..... life between the ages Puberty and Retirement.
05/20/00 22:17:51
EST
Name: M Gordon
E-mail: mgord@home.com
Why would Satan waste his time creating the worst place imaginable by himself when he could just put Janet Reno in charge of it???
05/15/00 05:40:11
EST
Name: Rev. Genepool Lifeguard
A bunch of bible bumpers trying to convert you 24/7 or hell would consist of no Christians, thus I wanna go there.
04/27/00 09:28:34
EST
Name: Jane
Hell would be thousands of angry, aggro assholes in huge metal machines talking into little boxes pressed against their faces while swerving blindly back and forth with no thought to anyone but themselves.
Oh, wait. Never mind. That's driving to work.
04/07/00 14:25:43
EST
Name: Hector Plasmic
E-mail: hectorp@softdisk.com
Web page: www.hectorplasmic.atfreeweb.com
Hell would be a place you go after you die where you're forced to sing the praises of some schizophrenic asshole for eternity without the possibility of parole or escape.
04/06/00 21:58:47
EST
Name: Blue Jogger
Hell is where the new proposed Interstate Freeway is going through. Since we now have 8 lane superhighways, but it is still bumper to bumper in rush hour traffic. The new Interstate Freeway will allow speeds over 600 MPH (due to interdimensional twisting) to allow traffic from Los Angeles to New York. All exits off the Interstate Freeway are clearly marked, but no one can get over to the slow lane to leave...
03/30/00 15:08:21
EST
Name: Dan Edge
E-mail: dan_edge@hotmail.com
Hell is made up of slugs and snails and puppy dog tails. Or is that little boys... Hmmmm. Better ask Chris McKenzie; that's his department.
03/22/00 12:03:52
EST
Name: Noncynical Bastard
Doesn't Tonia sound like such a warm, positive person that's so much fun to be around? Remember, Tonia...slit the wrists vertically to get the job done; horizontal slits are only a cry for help.
03/22/00 08:45:39
EST
Name: Tonia
E-mail: ToniaLJohnson@excite.com
Isn't it obvious? Hell is here and now. think about it--constant torture would become boring and you would get used to it so that it would no longer be effective. but torture on an intermittant basis--I believe it's called variable feedback or somthing like that--has more impact. So, we're already in hell--the infrequent happy points only make the sad points more effective.
March 19, 2000 at 11:21:59
EST
Name: Gaelic Avenger
14th century Catholicism or 10th grade required health class, i can't decide. Both are repetitive and involve sitting in an extremely uncomfortable seat while listening to a hypocrite give a boring lecture on how you should live your life.
February 29, 2000 at 20:41:35
EST
Name: Joe Robinson
Ever been to a White Castle?
February 16, 2000 at 21:58
EST
Name: Rge
E-mail: krumin@zdnet.com
Spend the week of weekends being "witnessed" every half an hour by persistent missionaries trying to explain to you why your sins can be annuled by joining their multi-cultural, non-denominational, no-questions-asked congregation.
February 16, 2000 at 21:16
EST
Name: David Schwartz
E-mail: davids@webmaster.com
Cows can regurgitate their food on demand. Humans have Barry Manilow.
February 15, 2000 at 05:37
EST
Name: Kyle Haight
E-mail: khaight@netcom.com
As was observed in "No Exit", Hell is being trapped forever in a room with Jean-Paul Sartre's friends. Although I do think Bob Saget should play a role in there someplace.
February 14, 2000 at 15:17
EST
Name: Chris McKenzie
E-mail: taganov@att.net
Hell would be being chained to a wall and forced to watch reruns of "Family Matters," "Home Improvement," and "Full House" for all eternity. Oh yes, the commercials would all be for "Mentos!"
February 12, 2000 at 0 21:26
EST
Name: Bob
Being strapped in a chair and having to listen to Neil Diamond sing.
February 11, 2000 at 11:30
EST
Name: Ms. Piggy
E-mail: pig@vogue.net
Hell is fries, a chocolate shake, and a nice, big BLT made fresh from Cousin Babe.
February 9, 2000 at 16:47
EST
Name: Eernie's sister
Like attending a club I really belonged to. After all, that's where the rest of the selfish, intelligent atheists would be. Pull up a comfy chair and welcome home!:) Hurray!
February 7, 2000 at 21:23
EST
Name: Jp
E-mail: jptree@21stcentury.net
I'm not sure, but George Macdonald put it something like,
"The one tenant of hell is, "I am my own!""
February 7, 2000 at 17:38
EST
Name: L00
E-mail: dnob@semaj.com
Hell would be either getting your arm removed without anesthetics...or, better yet, watching a Denise Richards movie after she had a breast reduction. Wait...yes, the latter one would definitely be worse.
February 7, 2000 at 15:07
EST
