Comments, Love Letters, and Death Threats
Comment Archive 25
The posts below were made from March 7, 2006 to May 13, 2006.
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Subject: La Guerra Contra El Terrorismo
Best. Editorial. Ever.
I really hate the Minutemen. Their group name really says something
Editor's Note: Thanks. I always thought their name's derivation was historical, but I think I see what you're getting at.
May 13, 2006 at 02:41:25
May 12, 2006 at 08:15:31
Name: William Beaumont
Subject: La Guerra Contra El Terrorismo
Totally agree with your sentiments. On the topic of
Republicans'/conservatives' stance on immmigration, it may interest you to know
that, given the choice between capitalism (or "free enterprise" as they
prefer to neuter the term) and a "sealed border" policy, more and more
of them are blindly preaching the latter choice and openly slandering
the former as badly as any anti-globalist Marxist. I want to put my foot
in Michael Savage's ass every time I hear him rant about how Wal-Mart
and the other multinationals have "sold us out". Even "Republitarian"
Larry Elder, who's supposed to be a follower of Milton Friedman, has
joined the lynch mob. Not too long ago, he was whining about how small
businesses can't compete against large corporations that hire illegals.
Jesus Christ, Jason, the only rational voice I've heard from the right on
this issue is Michael "Ned Flanders" Medved!
Editor's Note: The collectivism (nationalism) of many Republicans really shines through in this issue. I liked your Ned Flanders comment, so did a search. My "Jewdar" must be horrible. I always thought Medved was a Christian.
May 12, 2006 at 00:12:57
Subject: Hot Female Child Abusers and the Children Who Love
I think if a dude fucks a kid, it's molesting. but if a femme
does it, it's the eternal grace of god and a beacon of hope for all
mankind. hallelujah and praised be bro, kudos on ur ass.
Editor's Note: Especially when you see some of these teachers. Jesus... horny, good looking, good with kids, generous. Makes the whole fat man in a red suit thing seem very outdated. (JR)
May 9, 2006 at 03:47:58
Subject: Iraq, Iran, I conquered
Being canadian I know what my government will do. Ignore
Iran as long as it can, and then kiss its ass if it actually does get a
America probably doesn't have that option. Iranians still pray death
to america regularly.
Given that that's the case how come so few Americans are talking about
pre-emptive strikes? Do they want to make sure it stays a surprise? Have
they suddenly developed faith in UN international law and the
universal brotherhood of man? Or is there some super power thing I don't
understand at work here?
Editor's Note: It's a super power thing. The next step is for us to nuke ourselves. (JR)
May 8, 2006 at 17:32:08
Subject: 12 Things Kids Can Do in the War Against Terrorism
i fink dis is offensive nd sndz out a rong message. as a
muslim, i knw hw hard it is 2 not hear racism 4rm ne one nd u r tellin
children 2 rite 'allah suks' on a wall! dis iz wat causes riots between
ppl! watch ur bak!
Editor's Note: Ok, my door is locked. Go ahead and riot. (JR)
May 6, 2006 at 10:20:24
Name: Mike Tully
I think you mean John Lovitz (whose picture unfortunately IS
on IMDB) and not John Lovett.
Editor's Note: Jesus, you're right. Fortunately, I only spent two paragraphs on getting that wrong. I've now corrected it. You know, it's probably time for John Lovett (the actor, not the comedian) to get a new stage name. (JR)
May 6, 2006 at 07:34:29
Name: Chris Evans
Subject: Okay... [reply to last post]
...I'm still lost...
What does any of that have to do with...anything?
Editor's Note: As funny as you are, this is your last post. Thanks for contributing! (JR)
May 5, 2006 at 00:38:37
Name: Chris Evans
Subject: [reply to last post]
Lmao. I love how of all of the things I have on the site,
you pick the most menial post there is to try to berate me.
Second...did I in any way attack your site or even you as a person?
No, I stuck to the words that were on the screen--the text and what it
Good to know, though, that you're a mature adult.
Editor's Note: Perhaps I should also berate you for your false report, "Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Star In "Atlas Shrugged". You wrote (screenshot here, in case you edit it): "According to Hollywood trade paper 'Variety', the Mr. And Mrs. Smith co-stars, who are both fans of the Russian novelist, would play the lead roles of Dagny Taggart and John Gault." Leaving aside your misspelling of "John Galt", here's what the Variety article actually says: "[P]rovides an ideal role for an actress in lead character Dagny Taggart, so it's not a stretch to assume Rand enthusiast Angelina Jolie's name has been brought up. Brad Pitt, also a fan, is rumored to be among the names suggested for lead male character John Galt." So, congratulations, you don't just publish fluff. Also in your repertoire is the dissemination of horseshit. Hey, at least you got more advertising for your blog. (JR)
May 4, 2006 at 22:26:11
Name: Chris Evans
Wow. I am in no way a fan of Halle Berry, and also agree
that her win had much to do with politics than the acting, but this rant
is so incredibly ignorant I almost don't know what to say.
Editor's Note: No, I think you completely succeeded in saying nothing. But lay off the tough words like "politics". You really should be getting back to your website and posting important shit like "Legally Blonde" Becomes A Musical. How the fuck did the world survive without your website? By the way, I'm one of those "three people" you think never saw the movie. Unfortunately, I made the unwise choice of proving my dedication to my girlfriend by going with her to the sequel. When LB3 comes out, somebody direct me to a flower store or something. (JR)
May 4, 2006 at 19:06:24
Subject: Classifieds #10
The Al Manar one is racist.......
Editor's Note: I'm sure Aaron is sorry if he offended any members of Hezbollah. (JR)
May 4, 2006 at 18:00:10
Subject: Jon Stewart
I noticed you mentioned Jon Stewart in your latest piece,
Do you like this guy?
I used to think The Daily Show was hilarious, but in the past year it's
gone way too left for me, and Jon Stewart seems to clog my living room
with smug every time I watch him. And what's with the guests? Ted
Kennedy, Jesse Jackson? I thought Stewart was supposed to be making fun of
these guys, not kissing their asses and giving them air time.
Editor's Note: Stewart is a funny guy. The show's been liberal for longer than a year. For the year or two after Sept. 11, I couldn't even watch it. The reason I probably watch Fox News at all is because at that time I preferred to hear someone who called a towel-head a towel-head, and Fox News was the only place to get it. Now that I'm fully in "we're fucking things up" mode again, I can watch The Daily Show again, along with The Colbert Report. Even though they're pretty one-sided, a lot of this stuff does deserve to be made fun of. On rare occasions, I've even turned on Bill Maher (and laughed). But I only catch these shows once in a while. (JR)
May 2, 2006 at 01:01:25
Editor's Note: Even giving you a pass for "omigod", you still misspelled half your words and achieved a 100% mispunctuation rate. If you do choose to kill yourself, and do want to make it look like a homicide, you might want to run your intentionally fraudulent sounding suicide note through a spell-checker, just so no one catches on. (JR)
April 25, 2006 at 08:15:10
Name: David Buchner
Subject: Awful Quiet
What? No comments posted since that last Budweiser one?
That's a shame, because I'm guessing there's been some doozies.
Editor's Note: At last, they are here, so keep reading. I'm not sure why you expect any doozies, though. I find most all-caps using, multiple exclamation-point punctuating, misspelling lunatics to be quite reasonable. (JR)
April 24, 2006 at 17:24:16
Hetrosexual male here. Does the logic behind your quote
below, mean that a hetrosexual male who accepts fellatio, or any other act
that would be possible by a man, e.g. mouth-to-mouth kissing, from a
woman is in fact "doing research on what it would be like to be gay"?
QUOTE: "If you like having anal sex with a woman, you might as well ask
her to strap on a dildo and ride you like a fucking bull. I know,
technically the ass belongs to a woman. But it's an ass for Christ's sake!
Men and women both have asses, and if you're fucking a woman's ass, all
you're doing is research - in the most socially-acceptable way possible
- on what it would be like to be gay."
Editor's Note: Mouth-to-mouth kissing? That's disgusting. What the hell do women have breasts for? Furthermore, I believe that the mouth is an entrance, not an exit. (JR)
April 22, 2006 at 12:57:34
Subject: Top 10 Reasons to Date Outside Your Race
That page was funny and a whole lot of it applied to me. (I
date a Chilean girl)
"A license to tell racist jokes as long as you top them off with:
"That's ok, I'm going out with one." - Dating a Chilean seems to be
a license to bag mexicans
"To piss off the racist 'diversity' advocates by fucking with the gene
pool and helping to end the existence of races." - take that prussian
"So you can order something more interesting than chicken with cashew nuts without having to cart around a fucking dictionary."
No more tacos for me
"Other people think you're open-minded and shit." SO true
Editor's Note: I forgot who Prussian Blue were. Pretty fucked up stuff. Check out the Snow-Hitler on their blog page. (JR)
April 18, 2006 at 05:35:08
Name: Vag Ina
what an utter waste of my time, although slightly humorous,
so props, but I would like to chat more with you about this website and
all your dirty lingo and such, so you should most def e-mail me, k?
Editor's Note: Anything you want to say to me you can say in front of everybody else. I can always delete it instead of posting it. (JR)
April 11, 2006 at 19:15:51
Subject: Instead of Explaining the Freedom of Speech to the Middle East, I'd Rather...
Hmmm.. a lot of talk from a people whose religion was founded
and based upon the alleged murder of a man.
My advice to you all, stop worshipping a man like your forefathers did
long ago and step into reality.
By the way, your Lord and Savior never ate pig either...perhaps you
should all take a lesson from that. What's good enough for your god
should be good enough for you.
Editor's Note: It's a testament to the popularity of Christianity that anytime another religion is made fun of, it's automatically assumed that the writer is a Christian. You're all a bunch of fucking nuts. (JR)
April 11, 2006 at 03:30:17
I definitely agree with what ur saying and i just wanted to
say "curves" aren't only for fat chicks, i'm skinny and i have a curvy
toned body and i'm real right?
that phrase "real women have curves" annoys the hell out of me.
America should stop trying to justify fatness
fat people should work out or sumthin
Editor's Note: Is it just me, or does the name "Morgan" just sound innately thin? (JR)
April 6, 2006 at 22:39:04
Subject: Abortion and Child Support
There is yet another issue on the child support side of this
question of rights: the father is forced by power of the state to pay
her, not the child. It is a simple state-mandated transfer payment to
her that she may or may not use in the child's care. Why not the courts
require the father to cover specific expenses for the child, rather
than pay her. At least, the man retains some control over his own
resources and their use. Instead, the state has taken the draconian step of
advancing a woman's capacity to enslave a man.
Editor's Note: Interesting, I stupidly would have assumed that a parent has to show proof that childcare money goes to the child. Assuming state laws are similar, then the New Mexico law applies universally: "The receiving parent is not required to explain how the child support money is spent or even if any of the money is spent directly on the child." From a practical standpoint, I can see that it's much easier for a court to determine some dollar figure and leave it at that. But given the limitless range of possible child expenses, it's only fair that a recipient of childcare expenses be required to keep accurate accounting records. No husband should be required to pay for his ex-wife's fucking nail salon appointments. (JR)
April 6, 2006 at 12:26:19
Name: not telling
Subject: I am Sam
Whoever wrote this review you are an ignorant jackass!
Editor's Note: And I'm not telling you my name either, so there! (JR)
April 6, 2006 at 11:56:16
Name: Spencer Flagg
Subject: The 25 Most Inappropriate Things An Objectivist Can Say During Sex
dude. you are awesome.
Editor's Note: Am I awesome because of my depiction of absurdity or because I made fun of Objectivism? I need to know the answer to that before I take being awesome as a compliment. (JR)
April 5, 2006 at 14:51:07
Subject: christian and muslims
i wonder why the christian like to have more than one
man in their bed
may be because they wer born like this they dont knwo who their
real father is because the chriest was bron like this also his
muther was fucked by some pigs and then he born and now all
the christians females are following her practice
they should proud of it
Editor's Note: "Jim", you sound a bit defensive. I wasn't putting down Muslims. There are plenty of peaceful Muslims out there. I've seen them burning down buildings to prove it. (JR)
April 1, 2006 at 10:35:16
that was funny.. the way you approached it.. rock on
Editor's Note: Which reminds me, I need to renew my gym membership today. (JR)
March 29, 2006 at 22:43:03
Subject: 43 Pranks to Play at Work That May or May Not Get You Fired
I love it and think it is great. Very funny indeed.
Editor's Note: Funny? If you were a CFO and got the pages of an entire dictionary faxed to you from within your company, I don't think you would find it funny at all. This is serious shit. (JR)
March 24, 2006 at 22:06:39
Name: Keenan I. Nichols
Subject: Another Objectivist Disappoints
I have seen Binswanger do similar things before. That older
group is a pretty uptight bunch, except for Andrew Berstein. I heard
recently that Locke gave a scathing review of The 40 Year Old Virgin.
It's unfortunate. The bunch would have a heart attack if they watched
Benny Hill. I wouldn't be suprised if Ayn Rand liked his humor.
Editor's Note: Be careful about judging people based on (a) their opinions of movies, and (b) their opinions of movies you heard about second-hand. I can give you a scathing review of The 40 Year Old [sic] Virgin, too. And I haven't even seen it. For the record, yes, Bernstein is a cool guy. One of the coolest I've ever met who admits he doesn't drink. (JR)
March 24, 2006 at 13:30:27
Subject: Rape and Bicycles
Bad analogy with the rape and bicycle examples. The rape was
a conscious, deliberate act on the part of the rapist; the motorist
hitting the bicyclist, in your own words, did so accidentally. Intent
helps define the issue. If the motorist were seeking to hit bicyclists at
night, and the bicyclist was aware of this, then the parallel might
work, just as it might be reasonably assumed that a rape victim in "the
bad part of town" at night and dressed provocatively might be reasonably
assumed to be aware that predators are lurking about.
Editor's Note: Intent is irrelevant. The analogy was: a bicyclist riding at night without taking precautions is similar to a woman in skimpy clothing carelessly walking alone in a bad part of town. The issue wasn't who is legally responsible for the results. The issue was: did they both morally contribute to the consequences which befell them? The answer is: yes. (JR)
March 23, 2006 at 23:25:20
Subject: Good work!
You know what's neat? Throwing rocks at hornet nests!
Editor's Note: I do remember one summer's day when I amused myself by catching live bees. I found it more fulfilling than throwing rocks. Plus, there weren't any nests within eyeshot. (JR)
March 23, 2006 at 18:50:02
Name: bih-zay Bea
Subject: 43 Pranks to Play at Work That May or May Not Get You Fired
This is Kick A material- will use!!!!
Editor's Note: Please come up with your own ways to get fired. (JR)
March 22, 2006 at 19:38:34
I'll try one of these if my grandma ever dies.
Editor's Note: Nothing lightens up a funeral better than a good prank. (JR)
March 21, 2006 at 11:20:48
piss the people off behind you and wait until the traffic
light turns yellow then go. honk your horn as soon as the light turns
green. take pictures of people with a flashing camera (in your car) and laugh at their reactions. cut into a lines. while urinating never pee into the toilet. pop children's balloons. poke kids playfully in their belly buttons. stare. cough without covering your mouth. skip....always.
Editor's Note: Honking as soon as the light turns green is definitely an oldie but a goodie. Unless, of course, you're the one getting honked at, in which case retaliation by means of automatic weapons is completely acceptable. (JR)
March 20, 2006 at 21:08:53
Subject: Your getting kicked off HBL
Your story about HBL reminded me of my university's
Objectivist club. I attended the first several meetings a few years ago and
discovered that the majority of 'Objectivists' are uptight pricks. I think
the Campus Crusaders get drunk and laid more than the folks I met
Editor's Note: I have to say repeatedly not to give up on Objectivism (or the idea that you'll find Objectivists who aren't uptight pricks), even if you meet a bunch of them who are uptight. Also, I think there are different types of people within the "uptight Objectivist" category. The first group is the weakest; they're looking for a script to follow, even if that script is explicitly anti-dogmatism and pro-independent thought. For these people, mouthing Objectivist ideas is a way of mimicking someone with actual self-esteem for the purpose of lying themselves through the day. (It's not always easy to spot a liar, since liars can tell the truth 99.9% of the time.) The second group are the people who retain the bad philosophic premise of their youth that concepts are floating bits of "ideal" reality, not abstractions induced from reality, and need to protected from evil doers like an old lady to a boy scout. The third group is a mostly recovered version of the second group, people who occasionally revert to their past selves depending on the emotional nature of the situation. I think the third group is a lot larger than some Objectivists think, and I occasionally find myself part of it. (JR)
March 19, 2006 at 21:45:08
Name: Mr T
Subject: 44 Things NOT to do
How about 44 things to ruin your website...alot of ple workin
supermarket for near to nufin and it does help by puttin this crap on
Editor's Note: And I suppose that advocating pie throwing in a slapstick comedy is an insult to makeup artists. (JR)
March 19, 2006 at 11:32:05
Name: Michael Virginius
Subject: sacreligious artwork
Let's hope the National Endowment for the
Arts will learn from the reaction to that danish cartoon which
parodizes Islam and think twice before funding anymore art which defames Christ Jesus!
Editor's Note: Why, are you Christians getting ready to rumble? Would this help get you started? (JR)
March 18, 2006 at 14:09:06
Subject: You don't know shit about the government
I'm so sick of you stupid pussies sitting there and
pretending like you know a single fucking thing about our government or the way
We don't live in a capitalist society? Then who the fuck does? When
you are trying to organize the efforts of millions of people within one
country, it's not exactly that easy to ensure that everyone will be
happy and well to do.
More importantly is the fact that you only perpetuate what you claim to
hate. You hate big business? Guess how they got big, dumbass; by
being good at what you do. If you are better than the competition you grow
and prosper, thereby becoming a market-leader. That is capitalism at
its best. You work hard to be the best and you will be.
And here's the REAL problem; DUMBFUCKS LIKE YOU. What's really a
travesty in our society is the fact that we have a government which is
FIGHTING the efforts of successful companies with shit like "anti-monopoly"
laws. OK, so it's not right for a company to rape citizens over price
just because they can, but when you limit the ability of a business to
grow from its success, that is socialism.
And there you have it. You are an ignorant twit who is talking out of
his ass. Go listen to your "Rock Against Bush" cd one more time, stick
it up your ass, and kill yourself.
p.s. The internet was the best tool ever created for use by big
business, and even your pathetic little rant on here only makes them stronger.
LONG LIVE BIG BUSINESS AND THE AMERICAN WAY!!!
Editor's Note: Finally, a critic I can agree with. Hopefully, next time, Google brings this guy to the 99.9% of the other articles that are more clearly pro-capitalist. And then, hopefully he sees this reply and realizes that sometimes capitalists occasionally get pissed off at companies for doing shit just because no one's holding a gun up to their heads and telling them not to. As someone who's in marketing, I get especially pissed at marketers who talk out of their asses. Often, this happens because marketers are not impressed with their products' actual features, and/or they think their customers will be bored to hear about them, and/or they don't feel like they're being "creative" if they find creative ways to communicate actual facts. They're frustrated artist types who prefer to invent, rather than to report, product benefits. (JR)
March 16, 2006 at 05:39:06
Subject: What would Howard Roark do?
I'll tell you one thing: Howard Roark wouldn't give two shits about ARI.
Editor's Note: It's not an ARI issue. The Ayn Rand Institute gives away thousands of free copies of The Fountainhead to schools. Roark would like this. (JR)
March 14, 2006 at 17:03:21
Subject: Top 10 Reasons to Date Outside Your Race
"The chance to see your future daughter step out of the
shower in all her exotic, biracial glory."
This degrades you. It's embarassing. And.. morally f***ing disgusting.
Editor's Note: If you don't find that funny, that is morally fucking disgusting. (JR)
March 11, 2006 at 21:16:56
Subject: dmv time
DMV is the bigest crock of shit on the earth, you sit there
for 3 hours and wate for some fat fucking lady to call you up and take
your money and make you take a test, what the hell.
Editor's Note: That fat bitch should give you an English test. (JR)
March 11, 2006 at 19:23:40
Subject: ~~this is cool~~?
this is a way you lead teens into suicide? what the hell is
your problem???? this website has lead my best friend to strangle
herself and kill herself. get a life...
Editor's Note: I'm sincerely sorry. That was one of the worst pieces of writing I ever put to type. Please tell your friend, that is, your remaining friends, that self-strangulation only looks like homicide if you leave different sized finger marks on your neck. I recommend creating a pair of ice gloves for this purpose. (JR)
March 11, 2006 at 15:08:14
Subject: Dana Reeve
Coping with 25 years of paralysis I put up with a lot. Some
days I feel as if God is mocking me. Am I all alone out here? A voice in
the wilderness? For about 10 years Christopher Reeve and Dana Reeve (12
years) gave me a lot of hope. Because if paralyzed rats can walk again,
why not humans. Am I an idealist? Nevertheless, two great proponents
for curing paralysis are dead and gone. Hopefully their son will take
the reins and fight for both paralysis and cancer cure. He is young, but
I hope he takes over despite his age. Maybe some one like him with a
young innocent outlook is what it will take to cure these scourges. Too
often people with doctorates and all kinds of iconoclast degrees over
complicate things and progress gets thwarted. Dana's death made me feel
mocked, so lets see some cures for paralysis and cancer, that would let
us know she didn't die in vain.
Editor's Note: Yes, you're an idealist. Not that there's anything wrong with that. (JR)
March 9, 2006 at 18:41:02
I love this! Very Mikado-esque.
Editor's Note: I'm not cultured enough to understand that reference. But I'm sure some guy named Ben thanks you. (JR)
March 8, 2006 at 14:16:45
Subject: YOUR COMMENTS
MAN, ARE YOU CYNICAL!! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM WITH HARD ROCK,
ANYWAY? ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT IF YOU CAN'T DO THE ENGLISH WITHOUT
PROFANITY YOU SHOULD SPEAK IN RUSSIAN?
Editor's Note: I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear what my problem with the Hard Rock is. Nevertheless, I didn't mean to imply that I wouldn't go in for a beer, or even a meal, if I were, for example, trapped in Orlando one night. I'm also sorry that I can't write in Russian, otherwise I would curse in that language, too. On second thought, I take that back. Tebya ne ebut, ti ne podmakhivai. (JR)
March 8, 2006 at 07:00:52
Name: Willem van Nassau
Subject: Pejorative Dutch Words for Homosexuals
A previous poster stated that there were no pejorative Dutch
words for "gay". I thought you might find the following list
bruinwerker - sound it out
kontneuker - ass fucker
aarsridder - ass rider/ass knight
And my personal favorite...
poepstamper - no translation needed
Editor's Note: Thanks, this is useful information. Someone ought to devote a whole web page to foreign language cursing. (JR)
March 7, 2006 at 23:33:00
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