STH Newsletter

Occasional updates, plus bonus idiotic ramblings. (We've never sent more than one e-mail per month.)

Subhead - October 2003

by Jason Roth

• (Agence France Presse, October 22, 2003)

  Six British schoolboys hospitalised after taking anti-impotence drug

  And one British slapper hospitalised for bruising bum while bonking
  (The six blokes were later tossed for tossing)

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• (Agence France Presse, October 19, 2003)

  Viagra for women will be available in five years

  Hailed as medical breakthrough for women with penises

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• (Washington Post, October 23, 2003)

  Senate Votes 97-0 To Restrict E-Mail Ads

  Blames Al Gore for inventing spam

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• (Reuters, October 23, 2003)

  Scientists Find First Dinosaur Brain Tumor

  Overshadows yesterday's discovery of fourth Wooly Mammoth hemorrhoid

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• (SPACE.com, October 23, 2003)

  Mystery Spot on Jupiter Baffles Astronomers

  Observatory janitor fired

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• (Associated Press, October 23, 2003)

  Scalia Ridicules Court's Gay Sex Ruling

  "No one should suck a man's cock except my wife," Scalia said

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• (Reuters, October 23, 2003)

  Laser Treatment New Option for Acne Sufferers

  Light saber still best option for genital warts

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• (Reuters, October 23, 2003)

  Embarrassed GM to Rename Car with Risque Overtones

  Complaints from female car salespeople offended by customers asking for "Hummers" prompts GM to rename vehicle the "Oldsmobile Sloppy Blowjob"

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• (Associated Press, October 23, 2003)

  New Bird Species Found in Venezuela

  Quick-thinking environmentalists call it "endangered" before anyone can find another one

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• (Associated Press, October 23, 2003)

  Restaurant Nutrition Labels Considered

  Joseph Levitt, vice chairman of a Food and Drug Administration committee studying obesity, says the presence of "9500 calories" on a menu next to the words "Barbecued Chicken and Ribs Platter with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, Creamed Spinach, and a Slice of Pecan Pie with Ice Cream" will do wonders for America's rising obesity problem

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• (Associated Press, October 23, 2003)

  Religion Takes Spotlight in Terror War

  Lt. Gen. William Boykin drops bombshell that September 11 terrorists were Muslims; Liberal journalists shocked

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• (Associated Press, October 23, 2003)

  Senate Votes to Unfetter Travel to Cuba

  In a related vote, Castro votes to keep the fetters on travel from Cuba just the way they are

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• (Associated Press, October 23, 2003)

  States Try to Force EPA to Regulate CO2

  California first state to impose fine on people who exhale

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• Reuters - Thu Oct 23, 1:16 PM ET

  Gene Found for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

  Happy scientist rubs microscope three times in a row for good luck then looks for gene that will make Britney Spears stop ignoring his calls and go out with him

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• (Washington Post, October 23, 2003)

  Millions of Americans Look Outside U.S. for Drugs

  And inside freezer for cookie dough ice cream