STH Newsletter

Occasional updates, plus bonus idiotic ramblings. (We've never sent more than one e-mail per month.)

Subhead - March 2000

by Jason Roth

• (Reuters, Jan. 11, 2000)

  AOL, Time Cite Social Goals

  In celebration of the merger, CEOs of both companies will host a "Film and Magazine Burnathon", where as an encore, each promises to slice off his own testicles.

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• (New York Times, Jan. 22, 2000)

  Clinton Seeks Subsidies to Close Digital Divide

  Pledges to end starvation in inner cities due to low-bandwidth access to Priceline.com.

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• (Reuters, Jan. 28, 2000)

  Consumers Again Urged to Discard Pokemon Balls

  After more than twenty-eight years, Bob Barker amends his oft-repeated phrase at the end of The Price is Right.

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• (Internet World News, Feb. 9, 2000)

  House Panel Weighs Making Web Sites Accessible to Disabled

  Panel voices sympathy for Multiple Sclerosis patients who have difficulty reaching zipper while on porn sites.

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• (Reuters, Feb. 11, 2000)

  Clinton Sees No Instant Solution to Web Hacking

  Claims blindness due to too much "Web hacking" of his own.

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• (CBS MarketWatch, Feb. 17, 2000)

  Microsoft foes say they already beat Windows 2000

  Linux's 0.2% market share really making Bill Gates sweat, foes say.

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• (The Flint Journal, March 1, 2000)

  Boy has violent history, young suspect in slaying had attacked other classmates, father says

  Liberals still say children have a "right" to public education right up until they actually pull the trigger and have to go to prison, but only if it's inconvenient for them to attend classes.

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• (Detroit Free Press, March 1, 2000)

  How to talk to kids about a death at school

  See Dick run. See Jane run. See Dick run faster than Jane and catch her, tie her to a tree, and gang rape her with five of his homicidal buddies just before a relaxing afternoon of show and tell with daddy's stolen shotgun and duck duck goose with a ball pin hammer.