Buford T. Ramirez, resident of Garnersville, Mississippi, has been under 24-hour video surveillance by CNN for the past three days. Ramirez, age 83, holds the world's record for the longest number of days alive without falling victim to a single act of violence. CNN camera crews will follow Ramirez to be the first to catch him being violently assaulted.
It is estimated that the individual who attacks Ramirez will receive several weeks of international media exposure, possibly more if the method of violence employed is unusually creative or causes a large number of deaths in addition to Ramirez's. Ramirez's wife, coworkers, children, and grandchildren are expected to be likely targets.
According to a CNN spokesman, the probability of encountering an individual with the temerity to murder Ramirez on live television, something certain to garner the attention of millions of people around the world, is small. Nevertheless, CNN will continue to keep their cameras on Ramirez in the off chance that he might be stabbed, shot, pushed out a window, or hit by a car.
CNN reports that should Ramirez be murdered by someone brave enough to commit the act, the most likely cause of death would be a bullet to the back of the head at approximately 5:40 PM as Ramirez is leaving his job at Jacobson's Hardware Store on Route 27 in Arlington, Mississippi.
An unnamed source at the New York Times has said that space on the front page has also been reserved for the story. Potential killers are asked to contact the paper two hours before any acts of violence are committed.
