A group of American and European peace activists are gathering in Baghdad, in preparation for their annihilation by the United States. Acting as "human targets", the group hopes that their tie-dye shirts, disheveled hair, and odorous, unshowered bodies will provide targets to American pilots.
"Our missiles are computer-guided," said Col. Warren Stevens, a pilot currently stationed in neighboring Kuwait. "We don't really need additional assistance, but we appreciate any help the terrorist lovers can give us."
Some "human targets" have gathered on the Martyrs Bridge over the Tigris, and are chanting in unison, in hopes that childish rhymes will solve issues of international significance. One such rhyme currently being advocated is "Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Terrorists! Terrorists! Whooo!"
The activists have been quick to point out, however, that they are for peace, not for terrorism.
"You need to take the good with the bad," said one target. "To eliminate terrorism, you need war. To have peace, you need terrorism. Peace is better than war. Therefore, we say give terrorism a chance."
John Lennon's corpse was dug up for questioning. No evidence of rolling in his grave was identified.
