The city's new promotional slogan, "I love what's left of NY", will appear on memorabilia throughout the city's souvenir shops. That is, the shops that haven't been evacuated due to possible terrorist attacks. Bloomberg says the "I love what's left of NY" gas mask is expected to be a top seller. "If you're lucky, you could get yours signed by the New York Yankees!" Bloomberg said.
"But remember, kids," Bloomberg added, "Always look both ways before crossing a street as you run at full speed for your life out of a collapsing, fire-bombed baseball stadium."
On a day when high-ranking members of the federal government, including Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, have said that additional terrorist attacks on American soil are "inevitable", it comes as no surprise to many that New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg would react so harshly to the terrorist threats.
However, some critics deemed Mayor Bloomberg's retaliation against the threats particularly harsh. Launching an all-out tourism campaign, critics said, would be oppressive to already overworked Islamic fundamentalist taxi drivers and porn shop owners.
"They call them 'sleeper cells' for a reason," Columbia University student activist Biff Leftowitz said. "It's because they don't want to be woken up. We say let 'em sleep!"
Leftowitz said he calls on the mayor to repeal his "racist policies" that seek to "assault the rights of hardworking terrorists for the sake of "a few Americans that might theoretically be blown apart by freedom fighters retaliating against decades of oppressive American foreign policy."
"Yeah! Whoooo! Screw the military industrial complex!" Leftowitz added.
Nevertheless, Mayor Bloomberg said the city must persevere.
"Remember," Mayor Bloomberg said, "if we don't continue to live and enjoy our lives while under threat of chemical, biological, nuclear, suicide-bombing, hijacking, and automatic weapon attacks, the terrorists will have won."
