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UK Anti-War Protester Sentenced for Carnation Love-Tap
by Jason Roth
16-year-old anti-war protester Alina Lebedeva was sentenced today for giving Prince Charles a love-tap in the face with a carnation. Lebedeva said she made the playful gesture as a peaceful protest against the monarch's support of the war in Afghanistan.
The punishment for Lebedeva's love-tap will be 50 playful cane-lashings, followed by an amusing white-hot-metal branding of a peace sign across her face and forehead, before finally being subjected to some adorable free-love from a hundred cute, sexually repressed Islamic fundamentalist prisoners.
The prisoners will be asked to use carnation-scented condoms. Only as a gesture of peace and goodwill, of course.
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