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Alternative Rock Bands Remember Their Roots

by Jason Roth

Modern rock will pay homage to its history tonight. Five alternative commercial-radio, underground, platinum-selling, garage bands, fresh from their appearance with Madonna and Britney Spears at the Teen Beat Magazine Punk/Techno-Pop/Grunge-Core Awards, will appear tonight on MTV's Tribute to Alternative Rock benefit concert.

"No one's seen this much arrogance and phoniness since the Stone Temple Pilots first hit the stage," MTV Program Director Robert Brown said.

The Stone Temple Pilots are now well-known for being the originators of the 80s and 90s-Alternative/Grunge/Punk Rip-Off genre of music, still extremely popular on commercial radio in 2001. The Stone Temple Pilots are also credited as the first band to prompt the remark "Isn't that Pearl Jam?", now ubiquitous among radio audiences.

Scheduled to appear tonight are: Dead Link, Humiliation, and Voiceless Sorrow of the Damned, with a special performance by the godfathers of punk/funk/rap/country fusion, The Red Hot Kenny Rogers Death Squad. Topping off the evening will be a headlining performance by Jeffrey Dahmer and the James Deans, with a guest appearance by Adolph Schwarzenegger.

Great Britain's up-and-coming Fragile Robots have cancelled their appearance due to a previous obligation with Radiohead and Coldplay at the groundbreaking ceremony of The Creation Records Drug Rehab Clinic, founded by ex-members of Oasis and The Jesus and Mary Chain.

Harry Smith, lead guitarist for Humiliation, said it's about time alternative rock remember its roots.

"My grandfather almost got to see Nirvana perform once back in 1993," Smith said. "And there's one thing he told me I'll never forget. Before you can truly become an artist, you need to do one duet with a rapper, cover one Ramones song in the style of Mudhoney, and perform live at least once on MTV with a bunch of other one-hit wonder Pearl Jam/Pixies/Beastie Boys wannabies. Tonight is my chance to fulfill my grandfather's dream."

Smith will be appearing with a nose ring, tatoos, and an "I Hate School" T-shirt.

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