The nation's largest employer was accused of firing lazy, whining, annoying bitches for sitting on their big fat asses and talking about "getting shafted by the man" for eight hours a day instead of stocking the empty underwear racks like they were told, according to a lawsuit filed on Tuesday.
"We admit it, we absolutely do discriminate," Walmart.com CEO Jeanne Jackson said of the suit. "We discriminate against stupid, inept whores that would rather cash in on some bullshit lawsuit rather than earn their money," she added.
Stephanie Tweedle, one of the 500,000 plaintiffs in the case, said their case is unshakable. "We are women. We haven't been promoted. Therefore, Wal-Mart discriminates."
Wal-Mart's Vice President of Philosophy said that Tweedle should "retake that freshman logic course" and "would you want that goddamn slut cleaning your toilets?"
Wal-Mart executives say they are pleased to be offered the chance to eliminate the half-million unproductive bitches from their workforce, and that the company expects to earn $1 mil. per year in additional revenues which were previously lost in employee discounts off of bras and feminine hygiene products.
