Local parent organizations applauded yesterday when Joseph Adams, physics teacher at Mountain View High School, was officially reprimanded for taking his students on unapproved weekly field trips.
Adams claims the field trips to strip clubs each Friday night had a clearly defined purpose: to reinforce the fundamental principles of mammography.
"There's no better way to learn than learning by doing," Adams said to reporters, reinforcing his point with a helpful chalk diagram of Evel Knievel jumping over three dozen buses.
"If I told you I was going to jump over some buses on a motorcycle, you might be mildly impressed. But if I let you see with your own eyes how big some of these buses can get, you'd really appreciate the feat."
Adams said that nothing could convey the scientific genius behind the modern mamography machine more than a gin and tonic and two or three lap dances.
"People who shut off their minds to learning are the saddest people in the world," Adams said. "It's time we look beyond the drab white walls and lab coats and broaden our concept of the research lab."
Adams will be serving ten to fifteen years in prison as someone's "bitch", where he said he will be studying the physics of friction.
