Feminist Movement Hits Major Obstacle in Degenderizing World Population
Democrats Propose New "Managed Thinking" Program
What is S.H.I.T.? Mysterious New Invention Promises to "Change the Way Bathrooms Are Built"
New Drug Hits NYC Club Scene: "Makes You Feel Like Ned Beatty" Sources Say
Addition of New Letter "Elemeno" Improves Dumb Kids' Spelling
"Parents" Magazine Goes Forward With "Ten Games to Play with Your Son in the Shower" Article, Despite Reproach from Abused Men Organization
Rod Stewart Now Claims Some Guys Have All the Luck Some of the Time, But No Guys Have Some of the Luck All the Time
Nude Beach Cracks Down on Fig Leaf Sales
Public Beach Cracks Down on Cracks
Boot Manufacturer to Include Disclaimer "Not Made for Walkin'" - Assumes No Responsibility for Boot-Related Injuries
Church Sues Jellybean-Counting Raffle Winner. Autistic Man Claims 10,734 Jellybeans Was "Just Good Guess"
Democrats Worried That Bush's Prescription Drug Plan Might Work
Popular Women's Magazine Rates German Philosophers According to Their Ability to Convince People to Walk into Gas Chambers. Hegel Descendents "Shocked", Ready to Contest Kant Victory, Sources Say
