After receiving pressure from anti-robot group Citizens for the Reduction of Robotic and Cyborg Child Molestation, Sony has issued a product recall for over 1,500,000 robotic dogs.
The announcement came after embittered Sony employee, Hamachi Ikura, admitted his part in the reprogramming of the dog's central processing unit (CPU). Ikura was arrested over the weekend for "mean computer stuff" by two police officers who are currently in the process of learning how to send e-mail.
"We'll admit it," said Sgt. Frank Poncherello, the arresting officer, "We don't know how he did it. But it just ain't right."
Ikura admitted reprogramming the dogs after several parents came forward to authorities with stories of robotic leg humping.
"My little Danny wanted it to go fetch, but all it wanted to do was rub itself against his leg," Mrs. Sandra Kramer said, one of the parents who helped blow the proverbial lid off the metallic molestation.
The dogs will be put to sleep by Sony engineers, who will hold the company's first robotic dog fight in over three years.
"All my Yen are on Spike," a Sony engineer said. "I call it 'the killer instinct'. Intel calls it the Pentium V."
