God was arraigned this morning, after eye witnesses reported that He had made a marble statue of the Virgin Mary cry.
"There were real tears and everything," a witness said. "Everyone knows this is impossible. There He goes again, fucking with us."
Police slapped the cuffs on God, despite threats by God that He can "snap his fingers and make them disappear" anytime He wants.
Police insiders said that God was "roughed up" to keep Him in His place. A large boot-print was observed on the back of God's white robe.
"If He wants to perform miracles, that's up to him," arresting officer Sargent Anthony Lawrence said. "But not on my shift," Lawrence added.
To raise money for His defense, God put His robe up for bid on Ebay, with a starting price of $25.00. As of press time, no bids have been placed.
"The old man is walking around naked," a police spokesman said. "I'll admit that I'm a bit surprised. I never thought God would have such a small penis."
