STH Newsletter

Occasional updates, plus bonus idiotic ramblings. (We've never sent more than one e-mail per month.)

Crowd of 5,000 Anti-Globalist Protesters Anonymously Slaughtered
Population of City Cheers Anonymous Man

by Aaron Kendall

Thousands of protesters against capitalism and its harm against "Bitch Earth" stood and protested outside of the conference center where the World Bank and the leaders of capitalism had met to discuss new international trade policies. Operating peacefully at first, the protesters quickly became violent when their peaceful protests were virtually ignored by the media and the World Bank meeting.

During the peak of their looting and throwing of amateur explosives at municipal policemen, a third party arrived at the scene with a mini-gun and three days worth of ammo, shouting "You want violence?!? I'll show you violence!" The third party quickly reduced the protesters to a pile of bones and meat and then promptly left the area. Shaken by the incident, the policemen said that they had not yet done anything about the matter, but they and the citizens of the city did promise to raise some money and build a statue dedicated to him.