Thousands of heterosexual men and women from all over the world will convene in New York City this week for the much heralded "Heterosexual Pride Week".
Francis Kenner, chairwoman of the parade that kicks off the weeklong celebration, said that more heterosexuals need to publicly declare their attraction to the opposite sex.
"Listen," Kenner said, "if you prefer to have sex with people of the opposite gender, it's something to be proud of. You've earned it."
Being attracted to the opposite sex, according to Ms. Kenner, is much the same as building a bridge, landing on the moon, or getting good grades on your report card.
Ms. Kenner said that women should think of this week as "the gold star you never received for your first blow job". Kenner went on to say that "heterosexual men need to come out of the locker room and be proud of last night's hot piece of ass."
The Heterosexual Pride Parade will run south down 5th Avenue and turn west on 34th Street, just before the start of the "Gay Humility Month Street Fair" and the "So We're Black, Big Fucking Deal Outdoor Concert Series".
