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Study Finds that "Worldly" Idiots Are Just as Stupid as "Domestic" Idiots
by Aaron Kendall
At Harvard University yesterday, a team of social scientists announced the results of a recent experiment which had been conducted over the past decade. The experiment concerned comparing the intelligence of two specific study groups: idiots who travel around the world and idiots who stay within their national boundaries. The results of the study indicated that morons who had spent time in Germany or Thailand were just as stupid as morons who never left their hometown of Greenville, South Carolina.
"Yes, we found the two study groups to have slightly different types of behavior," reported one old geezer of a scientist. "The domestic group would go on and on about some totally ridiculous thing, like Jesus Christ or the Torah or Allah or something. On the other hand, the group which had done a bit of traveling seemed to a bunch of pretentious assholes, talking on and on about how doing such and such was so much better in France. In all, we found both study groups to be entirely, as we like to call it, 'fucking retarded'". After the study was over, the scientists were sure to release the subjects of the experiments from their misery by immediately executing all of them.
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