|
"Gun Prohibition Not Enough" States Say
by Aaron Kendall and Jason Roth
In an effort to stay one step ahead of the Federal Government, various forward-looking state and municipal governments in the Northeastern and Western regions of the U.S. have begun to outlaw the sale of other items possessing the potential to harm. According to government officials, the first items to go will be cooking utensils, especially knives, chopsticks, refrigerators, and ovens. In addition, all food will be required by law to exist only in liquid form.
Restaurants, in order to prepare for the eventual shift in lifestyle, have already replaced their buffet counter islands with slop troughs. Restaurant owner Charlie Hong, owner of "Hong's Fong" and "Chinese Food", has already discontinued the sale of dessert items. "Fortune cookie too sharp," Hong said.
Hong declined to comment on the sales expectations for Dog Foo Young, now that it has been reprocessed and served as the new Dog Foo Shake.
|
