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Yassir Arafat Survives Al Gore's Deadly "Ass-Lock"

by Aaron Kendall

New allegations about Vice President Al Gore surfaced today. Midway during the peace talks between Israel and Palestine, Gore visited Camp David in order to join Clinton in his effort of bringing peace to the Mid-East. During a coffee break, Gore reportedly attempted to sit down in a chair adjacent to Yassir Arafat and start a conversation with Arafat. However, things quickly turned ugly as Arafat and Gore began to argue over the appropriate way in which to prepare a falafel. According to sources, Arafat took the offensive by calling Gore "the son of a motherless goat", and Gore reciprocated by gripping Arafat with his powerful clenched buttocks in his famous "ass-lock". Arafat survived the encounter, escaping only with a concussion and a few broken ribs.

In order to prevent such an encounter from happening again, Clinton is seeking to pass legislation which will put a safety trigger on Gore's deadly ass of destruction.