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Caucasian Cheerleader Undergoes Surgery to Become World's First Transracial Transsexual Rapper
by Jason Roth
Jenny Smith, second-string cheerleader for Wilsborough High School in southern California, is now Johnny Smith, according to a New England Journal of Medicine report.
"What surprises most people," said Dr. Lawrence Friedman, the doctor who performed the surgery, "is that Jenny, I mean Johnny, isn't much different now than she, I mean he, was before the surgery."
Dr. Friedman cites studies by rap and cheerleading experts, which claim that the degree of primitive chanting, absence of melody, and ignorance of musical instruments is quite similar between white teenage cheerleaders and adult male rappers.
According to Mr. Smith's neighbors, his chants have remained quite similar rhythmically, though he now grabs a pair of plastic testicles rather than a pair of pompoms.
One neighbor reports that Mr. Smith's previous favorite chant:
"Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate"
has now evolved into:
"like a hot buttered a pop da pop da pop dibbie dibbie,
pop da pop pop ya don't dare stop"
Smith thanks Dr. Friedman and the Sugarhill Gang, respectively, for his successful surgery.
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