In an effort to become more like Western civilization without actually giving freedom to its citizens, the government of Iran finally held its first election for the coveted position of Homicidal Dictator of Religious Zeal.
The election came down to just two men: Muhammed the Blood-Thirsty and Abduhl the Merciless Collector of Souls.
"It was a hard choice", said Abib, a local camel jockey. "However, after watching Muhammed during the debates, I just felt that he really believed in his cause. I mean, the way that he talked about killing all of the infidels. I'll be honest - it moved me."
Muhammed went on to win the election. Crowning the occasion, he met with his defeated opponent and killed him "in the name of all followers of Allah."
