Universal Studios, Six Flags, Disneyworld, and Disneyland... all great amusement parks each with a fun-loving theme. But, Christian advocacy groups have prayed, why can't we have theme parks that inspire the fear of God?
Last week, the man to answer those prayers was none other than Ted Turner. Turner announced the opening of a brand new theme park for Christians everywhere: Jesus Park.
The park had met much criticism during its development, which took place in a rural area of Alabama. Critics imagined a plot of land filled with cheap robots that repeated quotes from the Scripture. However, Turner cleared up any
skepticism about the new theme park as he spoke to the crowd during the initiation ceremony.
"This park," Turner said, "will be completely authentic, as it will be filled with nothing but actual characters from the Bible." Turner said that the park harnesses the power of modern science, including genetic research and cloning technology. Development of the cloning project began just twelve months ago, when Turner purchased the Shroud of Turin from the Vatican gift shop.
Turner's R&D staff extracted the DNA of various New Testament characters from actual Biblical artifacts to recreate those characters. The characters have then been imprisoned within the park for all to enjoy, at the entry fee of just $29.95 per person.
