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The molecules sat there, quite bored. "Here we go again," one remarked, not really in the

mood to be holy.

               The priest made several more circles with his wand. When he was finished,^*

he opened his eyes, and refocused them on the unchanged water in front of him. Not quite as

impressive as a bunny rabbit, he thought, but it'll do. He looked out into the audience, and again put

on the expression that said God was stuck in his lower intestine, and too stubborn to come out.

               "And now, ladies and gentlemen. Please hold up the symbolic wooden fragments which you

selected before mass. These fragments-- once bare, unpolished branches--remind us of the pain

endured by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Many years ago, on a day in spring much like today,

God's Son carried His own cross. He knew full well the destination of His journey, as do we. But as

we've seen in the past few months, it is unnecessary to relive Christ's suffering. We've concluded that

it is perhaps the most serious of all mortal sins. Instead, let us be thankful for the life Christ has given

us. Let us give new meaning to the crosses webear. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to plaaaayyyyy

ballllllll!!!!!!!!!"

               The crowd cheered. Every man, woman, and child in the packed cathedral held a brand new

baseball bat proudly over his head. Dispersed throughout the crowd, one could see baseball caps of

various professional teams, multi-colored banners, and big foam hands with a finger extended to

signify "We're #1!". Along the walls on each side of the cathedral were huge white sheets with large,

red lettering:

               "BAT DAY AT ST. MARY'S: A NEW ANNUAL TRADITION".

               The crowd went wild as Father Feinstein descended from the altar, carrying the urn of holy

water and golden wand. Dipping the wand into the urn, he waved sprinkles of water out over the

crowd. People anxiously pushed their bats higher, hoping to get a drop or two, like fans in box seats

waiting for a fly ball that promises to be a homer. Father Feinstein walked down the center aisle in his

*_{The new atomic structure of the water was said to be H2HOly}