In John Kerry's and John Edward's acceptance speeches at the DNC, they spoke of a desire for "One America". They talked about uniting, not dividing. I forget if that was before or after they divided America into two classes and talked about eliminating tax cuts for the "wealthiest Americans".
Once and for all, could someone explain to me why Democrats deport you from their One America the moment you work your way up to $200,000 a year? Fortunately for Kerry and Edwards, the "wealthiest 2%" aren't comprised solely of Jews. You gotta make sure your envy is directed evenly at all races otherwise you might offend somebody.
Edwards also talked about the great divide in America's "two school systems". Hmm... I wonder if it was Edwards who brought this up because his daughter Catharine went to public school? The boarding schools to which John Kerry sent his daughters probably wouldn't be the greatest means of punctuating another speech on class warfare. No need for Kerry to talk out of two sides of his mouth. He can just rent out the mouth of his Vice Puppet.
And get ready for socialized child rearing. Both men ominously referred to keeping kids safe "after school". That's all we need. We're only trashing kids' minds seven hours a day. I'm sure there's some way to fuck them up while they're playing basketball. These guys must agree with Hillary Clinton that it takes a village to raise a child. In other words, parents are incapable of raising their own kids, but capable of telling other parents how to raise theirs. Here's an idea: how about giving parents back their fucking salaries and letting them give conventional, civilized child rearing a shot?
I missed the live speech by Kerry, but fortunately was able to watch Edwards'. All I hear about John Edwards from Democrats in the media is the magnitude of his charm and charisma. These Democrats would have trouble differentiating Martin Luther King, Jr. from Ron Popeil. Here's a hint: the black guy not holding the combination slicer, dicer, and pocket vibrating vagina is the guy with the charisma.
Watching Edwards, I was convinced I was watching a bad infomercial, even by infomercial standards. He should have flashed a phone number on the screen, if only he had something to sell. That guy's intellectual warehouse is emptier than the Franklin Mint after a sale on silver-plated coins commemorating the one-week anniversary of the nuking of Iran. I'm sure Edwards could sell a potato, but can he spell it?
Speaking of slicers and dicers, Kerry and Edwards talked about the evils of international outsourcing. For some reason, they forgot to mention the reduced cost of products to consumers as a result of cheap labor. I'm curious if this has anything to do with the complexity of the issue. Anything that can't be summed up in a three-word sound bite is bad politics these days. "We're losing jobs" does the trick. And "No more outsourcing!" almost fits on a picket sign.
Never mind the fact that a company getting taxed is even more fucked up than an individual getting taxed. Nevertheless, I'm sure there are even more ways to group individuals together vaguely and tax them again. Here's an idea for the liberals: how about a special tax on any investment by two or more companies? We could call it a tax on "multicorporate entities" and you could charge companies an extra government fee just to do business with one another. Call it the "B2B tax", that's easy to say, fits nicely in a headline, and has a nice ring to it. Most people are too stupid to understand how this will affect them. They'll vote for anything that cuts off their nose to spite their employer's face. But I'm not a tax expert, so for all I know, we already have this tax.
There's really nothing more to say about John Kerry's speech. The most outrageous part was what it lacked, not what it contained. It was typically weak as you'd expect from a presidential nominee. Few concrete promises were made, so few promises can be broken. But the lack of ideas to stop terrorism at its root was terrifying. Well, it would have been if it weren't all so goddamn tedious.
