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Go back to: home culture bashing outbursts

Page 1

The Three Most Shocking Things About the School Bus Beating Video

by Jason Roth

You've probably seen or heard about the school bus beating that took place in Palm Bay, Florida. As punishment for chucking something at a senior (a foam ball, according to the police), a high school junior was pummeled repeatedly. The whole thing was caught on video.

What I'd like to know is whether the junior had been giving the senior shit for three years, and until that fateful beating had gotten off the hook. Sure, that day he only threw a foam ball. What did he do yesterday?

But that's something we don't know the answer to. Let's stick with what we do know, and in my opinion, the three most shocking things about the video.

Evidently, the school bus is equipped with a video camera for quality assurance purposes. You know, to make sure that if kids are beating the fuck out of each other, the bus driver will wander safely back and forth down the aisle like a goddamn chicken with its head cut off, rather than actually stop the fight. I'd put money down that after the beating, the bus driver said something like "That wasn't my job" to rationalize her behavior. That doesn't bother me, though. She probably can't sleep these days.

I don't have a problem with the kids not stopping the fight. When you're a kid, it's your job to watch fights. You pray that fights will happen. If fists are flying, you sure as hell aren't going to stop them. But the bus driver has no excuse. If her job is solely to turn a steering wheel, then they ought to have a bouncer on board who can actually be the adult.

If the schools are so goddamn interested in teaching values, they should start by hiring adults who possess them. Don't expect a kid to violate the "gather 'round every fight and cheer" rule if the adults under your employment are chicken shits.

Ok, so we covered shocking thing number one. In order to understand shocking thing number two, you need to see the videotape. On the right side of the screen, you'll see a girl bent over the seat facing the back of the bus. Her pants are so tight you could conduct a rectal exam without removing them. Now, you might say that I'm perverted for noticing this. But I beg to differ. I am perverted, but this is not a good example of my perversion. This chick is totally in your face in this video, and those pants are so ridiculously tight they're impossible to ignore. The last choice I want to be faced with is whether to look at a girl's ass or a guy beating the shit out of someone. These are activities that should be mutually exclusive. Fortunately, the girl was probably 13 years old, so I was able to quickly focus my attention on the good stuff. (The beating, you fucking pervert.)

Finally, let me address the third and possibly most shocking thing about the school bus beating videotape. While doing the extensive research required by this article (so I could write "Palm Bay, Florida" rather than "Bumfuck, Florida), I discovered why kids would need adult supervision if they had to write a paper on this topic. Granted, the search terms I used to find an article about this video were a bit vague, but Yahoo and Google have gotten so good, you almost have to think "Pamela Anderson video" and you can watch it two seconds later.

In this case, I searched for "bus video". I figured that it's the most popular bus video at the moment, so I would probably find it. I was wrong. Apparently, video from the "Bang Bus" is more popular. As I discovered, for the first time, so innocently and inadvertently in the course of a single careless web search, the "Bang Bus" is a sick, disgusting videotape of people having sex! Holy fucking shit, get this off my screen!

Did you have an opinion on this? Then post a comment.

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