"I see that you're wearing a patch. How long have you been trying to quit?"
"Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just trying to grow my penis."
"Grow your penis? With a patch?"
"Why, yes. It's the new Penis Patch. One Magna-RX Patch a day is all you need to increase your penis length from 2 to 5 full inches."
"But the patch is on your arm. Shouldn't it be on your penis?"
How small a penis and/or brain do you need to have in order to buy a penis patch? Even if they promise "real doctors, real science, real result!" you still need to offer your name and address to some random stranger and say "Yes, I have a small penis." Maybe it's the "plain box packaging for your privacy" that sells it. (I'm sure most people wouldn't want a box showing up at their door that had the words "The Most Effective and Safest Way to Get a Larger Penis!" on it.) But maybe the "100% Money Back Guarantee" is what does it.
Can you imagine someone trying to get the Penis Patch company to make good on their "bigger penis" claim? I can picture some guy on the phone yelling at a customer service rep, "My penis is still small! I demand my money back!"
Or if they need to take it a step further...
"I'd like to represent myself, your honor."
"Do you understand that the State will provide you with an attorney, if you so choose?"
"Yes, your honor. But I feel that it is both my responsibility as a citizen and a duty to myself to represent myself in this case."
"Alright then. You may proceed."
"Well, your honor. One day I received an e-mail advertising a new product called the Penis Patch."
"The Penis Patch?"
"Yes, your honor. The ad said that just one patch a day would increase the size of my penis 2 to 5 full inches."
"So what you're saying is that you have a small penis?"
"Well... yes, your honor."
"Get the fuck out of my court."
Sooner or later, the whole small penis thing is bound to come up. I just don't see many small-penised men taking this company to court.
