I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I am willing to stake my entire reputation on the fact that I am not the only one with a "mirror pose". I am, of course, referring to that pose one gives in front of a mirror before leaving for the day or evening. This is the pose of you at your best. Well, it would be you at your best if you were one of the world's top fashion models and the world wouldn't piss in its collective pants in laughter if it saw you doing your mirror pose.
In short, your mirror pose is sort of a stand-in for you looking your best. It's that Barbara-Streisandesque "you're only allowed to film me from my left, you fucking bastards" pose. It's a summary of everything you think you can be all day and all night long, in one single pose.
If I could install a hidden camera in every bathroom and bedroom on the entire planet, there is no doubt I would create a big coffee table book with nothing but mirror poses. Maybe that idiot who takes photos of naked people could put this together. All he needs to do is ask people to install cameras in their houses, then a few months later take a look at the footage. Harvesting that video would be more fun than pulling up a goddamn crab trap.
What's incredible is that even hideous people have a mirror pose. Even someone who should be wearing a bag or burka over their head has got a "Oh, yeah, look at me, baby, that's what I'm talking about" pose.
Maybe even funnier than a mirror pose coffee table book would be the "five minutes before your best mirror pose" coffee table book. (Or you can just throw these in an appendix as the outtakes.) These poses would be the ones that people are dissatisfied with. The ones which require one more dab of hair gel, or a completely new shirt, or maybe just a slightly more sexy (in the poser's opinion) turn of the head. These "before" pictures should be paired with the "afters". Or better yet, mix them up and make it a game: try to guess which is the before picture and which is the after. I bet you'd get it wrong half the time.
Well, if you'd excuse me, I need to check myself out in the mirror. I have an idea for a really good pose. It's me looking like I don't give a shit, snapping my fingers then pointing at the mirror, and giving a few small, subtle nods.
God dammit. I look fucking mahvelous.
