| Nice Guys Don't Change the World (6/6/07) |
| Time to Speak Up (4/16/07) |
| Castle Blanc: White Castle Slyders and a Glass of Barolo (4/2/07) |
| Tehran International Book Fair: Celebrating 20 Years of Ignoring the Jew-Hating Elephant in the Living Room (3/28/07) |
| A Note to Blackberry Users and The Stupidest Thing Bill O'Reilly Ever Said (3/24/07) |
| Weathermen, Pi, and the Letter "Hey" (1/31/07) |
| Name a Star After Someone (1/29/07) |
| An Environmentalist's Crimes Against Reality (1/28/07) |
| Suicide Walks, Howard Stern, Marilyn Milian, and New York City Night Court (1/23/07) |
| A Little Iraqi Historical Re-revisionism (1/4/07) |
| My 2006 Election Write-In Candidates (11/7/06) |
| The 2006 Election: Whom to Vote Against This Time? (11/6/06) |
| Trials and Tribulations of a Muslim Hijacker (10/4/06) |
| The Ugly Sound of the Piano (9/12/06) |
| Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Rap Music, and Other Things That Should Go the Way of the Pet Rock (9/7/06) |
| The Spirit of a Moron: Mike Wallace (8/15/06) |
| Coming Together to Ban Lube on Airline Flights (8/11/06) |
| Google Earth Bloopers, and Why We Need a Federally Funded Time Capsule (8/9/06) |
| Signs from God and Pharmacies (6/20/06) |
| Hot Female Child Abusers and the Children Who Love Them (5/5/06) |
| Bloggish Babble (5/1/06) |
| Duking it Out with Iran (4/18/06) |
| More Anti-Muslim Cartoons from Denmark (2/6/06) |
| Another Objectivist Disappoints (12/20/05) |
| On Strike Against the NYC Transit Strike (12/20/05) |
| The "Chili and Cheese" Trick, Brute Force Nachos, and Imposter Buffalo Wings (12/20/05) |
| God Was My Alaska Airlines Copilot (11/21/05) |
| Elevator Repair Men Can Be Stupid, Too (11/21/05) |
| The Philosophy of Superman III and Office Space (11/14/05) |
| HBO Latino, George Carlin, and More (11/4/05) |
| Technology, Getting Caught, The Apprentice Drinking Game, All My Sushi, Googling Ayn Rand, Pulling a Ragnar, and Definitions (11/1/05) |
| Wired Magazine and the "D" Word (10/5/05) |
| Halloween (10/3/05) |
| Flowers for Krugman (9/16/05) |
| Katrina (9/2/05) |
| I Wish That I Had Jesse Helms's Girl (8/30/05) |
| Wishing You a Very, Merry September 11th (8/23/05) |
| Silly Rabbit, Tricks Are for Prostitutes (8/15/05) |
| A Penny's Worth of Politeness (8/12/05) |
| Ms. Wheelchair America and the 19% Penis Factor (7/25/05) |
| Your First Amendment Right to Shut Your Mouth (7/21/05) |
| Gross Negligence: The Deadly Ice Cream Factory Incident (7/20/05) |
| Handicapped Bathroom Stalls: Ethical Issues and Public Policy (6/30/05) |
| Airport Bars, Ad Hominems, and the World's Second-Most Boring Spectator Sport (It Ain't Bowling) (6/29/05) |
| My Browser Went to the News Website, and I'll I Got Was This Lousy Dog Rape (6/21/05) |
| Native American Vodka Shots and Annoying Baseball Metaphors (6/13/05) |
| Good Urologists, Bad Teachers (4/13/05) |
| Ding Dong, the Pope is Dead (4/11/05) |
| A Male Dilemma - and Three Solutions (3/22/05) |
| Now Open for Funerals and Other Special Occasions (3/14/05) |
| White Supremacy, Annoying Cell Phone Rings, and the Closest I Ever Got to a Threesome (3/3/05) |
| 12 Things I Learned During the State of the Union Address (2/3/05) |
| American Idols (1/19/05) |
| The Real You and the Real Libertarians (1/6/05) |
| Tsunamis, the Sopranos, and the Good, Old Days (1/2/05) |
| Tsunami Jokes (12/31/04) |
| Iranian Terrorists and Women with High Heels (11/1/04) |
| John Kerry Against John Kerry (10/31/04) |
| A Good Date Starts and Ends with Sex (10/27/04) |
| Humbled to Be Part of the Taco Bell Team (10/22/04) |
| The Good Old Days (10/22/04) |
| Unpublished Book Dedication (10/14/04) |
| The 2004 Presidential Election: Urine for a Treat (10/12/04) |
| Natural Leaders, Fishing for Girlfriends, and Your Favorite Lyrics (10/12/04) |
| Bush vs. Kerry: The First Debate (10/1/04) |
| New Car Smell and the Risky Business Syndrome (9/29/04) |
| The "Fair and Balanced" Cornfield (9/22/04) |
| Punky Brewster Never Said "Spunk" (9/20/04) |
| Making Friends with More Objectivists (8/30/04) |
| Listerine and the Miracle Lube (8/23/04) |
| Olympics Bashing is So Retro (8/20/04) |
| The Real James McGreevey Scandal (8/18/04) |
| An Afternoon at the Olympics (8/17/04) |
| The Complete Book of Running? (8/13/04) |
| Cue the Cancer Music (8/12/04) |
| Lazy Sunday Afternoon Terrorist Threat (8/2/04) |
| Two Johns, Two Whores (8/1/04) |
| I Guess It Depended on What the Meaning of the Word "Was" Was (7/27/04) |
| Way Too Much Ass Muscle Analysis (7/25/04) |
| Super Size This (7/21/04) |
| Porn, Sex, Wedding Rings, and Stupid Google Tricks (7/15/04) |
| Leftist Assholes Are People, Too (5/5/04) |
| Yuppy Women, Perceived Racism, and Devil-Worshippers (4/16/04) |
| Official 2004 Presidential Endorsement (4/7/04) |
| Actual Product Labels (3/26/04) |
| My First Wacko (3/25/04) |
| Dead Animals, Bums, and Caramel Nut Blast (3/22/04) |
| Touchy People (3/19/04) |
| The Bush Sept. 11 Commercials (3/5/04) |
| At the DMV (3/3/04) |
| An Actor's Dream Come True (3/3/04) |
| Six News Headlines (3/3/04) |
| a rainy 80s morning (12/17/03) |
| Television Post Saddam (12/16/03) |
| If you're standing in the middle of a forest... (12/9/03) |
| Some Inane Comments about the Battlestar Galactica Miniseries (12/5/03) |
| An Atheist Goes Undercover (11/24/03) |
| Reality TV (11/21/03) |
| SAC: The Crisis in American Television (11/18/03) |
| The Psychological Peeping Tom (11/17/03) |
| The Big Mirror Pose Coffee Table Book (11/14/03) |
| The Three Most Shocking Things About the School Bus Beating Video (11/12/03) |
| It's Beginning to Stink a Lot Like Christmas (11/11/03) |
| Brief Comments About Two Morons on the Right and Left (11/7/03) |
| The gods are fallen and all safety gone (11/6/03) |
| Four Great Things About Childbirth (11/5/03) |
Am I Voting Today? Heck Fuck No (11/4/03) |
| A Short Comment on Leper Integration (10/31/03) |
| The Penis Patch (10/30/03) |
| "Real [Fat] Women Have Curves" (10/21/03) |
| The Nobel Joke (10/10/03) |
| Arnold, Double-Fisting, Feminists, Rush Limbaugh, and Al Pacino (10/9/03) |
| Rush Limbaugh and the ESPN Corporate Pussies (10/1/03) |
| Corporate Stupidity, Paid Spokesmen, and Other Ramblings (9/24/03) |
| Just Another September 11 Anniversary (9/11/03) |
| Men's Bathrooms, Men's Locker Rooms, Anal Sex, and Other Disgusting Heterosexual Topics (8/23/03) |
| Environmentalists, Hulk, Mammary Glands, and Other Green and Non-Green Things (8/18/03) |
| Is Golf a Sport? and My Trip to San Diego (8/17/03) |
| If Everyone Were Hot (8/17/03) |
| Blackout August 14, 2003 (8/15/03) |
| You need a missile to be a missile smuggler (8/14/03) |
| Queer Eye, Straight Guy, and the Need for a Fix (8/6/03) |
| Curse Words, Spell-Checking, Pizza, and Defective Toilet Paper (6/30/03) |
| When is a Woman's Ass Not an Ass? (6/3/03) |
| Porn, Boxing, Miscellaneous Thoughts on Age and Aging, Tennis Announcers, and My Visit to Berkeley (6/3/03) |
| Double Homicide, Microsoft Word, and Things I Don't Want to Hear from a Woman (4/22/03) |
| Let 'em Loot (4/9/03) |
| Hard Rock T-Shirts and Other Annoyances (4/7/03) |
| Spouting Shit (4/4/03) |
| Random Thoughts on the War (3/6/03) |
| Rape and Bicycles (3/4/03) |
| The "Peace" Pussies (2/25/03) |
| "It's All About the Oil" (2/9/03) |
| My Rejected Yahoo! Personal Ad (10/27/02) |
| Reporting on "Minority Report" (6/22/02) |
| Obligatory Halle Berry Comments (3/28/02) |
| The Story of "Culture Bashing" (3/23/02) |
| Entertainment Journalism and Erin Brockovich (8/30/01) |
| Commercials, Awards Shows, and Actors Who Can't Play Themselves (8/30/01) |
| Polygamy and Fireworks (8/27/01) |
| George W. and His Stem Cell Lecture (8/10/01) |
| Even Better Than a Schindler's List (8/8/01) |
| A Note from Heidelberg (8/6/01) |
| On the Nature of Talking Out of One's Ass (7/6/01) |
| Steven Spielberg's Artificial Insemination (7/2/01) |
| "Reverse Discrimination" Lawsuits No Better Than "Forward Discrimination" Lawsuits (6/21/01) |
| Some Inane Comments on Battlefield Earth and Tomb Raider (6/18/01) |
| The Next 13 Days (6/13/01) |
