I wonder if you could rent out a funeral home for a special occasion. I mean a special occasion other than some asshole relative finally dropping dead. It would be fun to rent a funeral home to celebrate a graduation, or maybe a new birth.
As far as I can tell, most of these places are just catering halls without the food. The only real difference is that they have a special rule allowing you to bring in dead people. Most regular catering halls don't allow dead people, they only allow dead animals. But that's only if you chop them up first and plan to eat them.
I figure that as long as you promise to keep the music down and not to bother the people mourning in the next room, I don't see why they wouldn't rent you a room.
Out front, you'd probably witness a conversation like this:
"Excuse me, are you here for the Fuller engagement party?"
"No, I'm here for the Ethan Bradford wake, the guy who got burned up at the abandoned construction site."
"Oh, so I guess you wouldn't know how long the open bar is going for?"
"No, sorry."
"Shit. I wanted to know how long I have until I need to start hoarding beers. Hey, you wouldn't mind helping me hide a few bottles, would you?"
"Uh... I really don't think it would be appropriate if I..."
"Oh, don't worry about it, no one will notice. Is it an open casket?"
"No, his body was too badly charred. Excuse me, I think this is his mother coming through..."
"Anyway, thanks. Hey, if you want to stop in for a drink, just let me know. I'll tell them you're my gay lover or some shit. I barely know these two assholes, anyway. This marriage will never last. I'm telling you, they'll wish they were burned up in a... where was it, again?"
"An abandoned construction site."
"What the hell was he doing there, anyway? And what started the fire?"
"He was helping to put out a fire. They think it was arson."
"Shit, that's tough. Anyway, like I said, if you want a beer or something, drop by. At least grab some cocktail weenies for the burial."
Actually, I can't think of a better place than a funeral home for a surprise party. When the birthday boy finds out his twin sister didn't really get raped at gunpoint and partially decapitated, that cream cheese and caviar is going to taste that much better. Just tone down the volume of your "surprise" or you might cause permanent damage. The joy and happiness part of the birthday should always be equal to or greater than the psychological scarring.
"Surprise! Happy Birthday!"
"Oh, geez. You guys really had me! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go check myself into a fucking mental institution."
A funeral home lends itself to certain theme events. There's so many things you can do with a coffin, I'd actually recommend you have three or four on display. KISS has a coffin for sale, and recommend you use it as a cooler. Another option might be to store a human-shaped piñata in it.
Also make sure you serve some balut appetizers, probably the most disgusting looking food product on the planet. (Personally, I found them better with salt.)
And for Christ's sake, don't forget these for your goodie bags.
