Fashion Commercials
I saw a commercial on MTV for American Eagle Outfitters. This is a clothing company that evidently is looking to grab some of the teenage audience, now that the Sodomizing Outdoorsman market has hit an all-time low. So on this commercial, we have a bunch of 25-year-old models - acting like teenagers - who read some advertising copywriter's dialogue back and forth to one another, about things like wanting to be individuals who have a voice and have the courage to be themselves.
It seems that what they don't mention on the commercial is that "being yourself" means being a 25-year-old model who says what marketing executives tell you to say.
"If you can "be yourself" by buying this lumberjack shit from American Eagle Outfitters, then you, too, can be a beautiful, 25-year-old robot."
If they really want to convey a brand image of individuality, why don't they use really ugly individualists? Like the Elephant Man?
How would you like to see the Elephant Man in an American Eagle Outfitters commercial? The company could even claim some kind of "corporate support" for people with disgusting deformities. Sure, they'd have to manufacture a few extra-large hats and extra-legged Khakis, but imagine the PR they could get:
"We're the company that produces clothes for people who don't give a damn about what other people think. Or whether other people puke when they look at them."
Then there's the J.C. Penny's commercial. J.C. Penny is having a back-to-school sale dedicated to "mothers who get it". To prove that the mother on the commercial "gets it", they show her turning up the car stereo volume after her daughter pops in a CD on the way to school.
Of course, since J.C Penny doesn't have the marketing budget of say, Coke or Pepsi, they have to use some canned, made-for-commercials, pseudo pop-song. So maybe the mother "gets it", but that loser daughter of hers must be hooked on "Classic Commercial Jingles Volume Seven". Somebody get a straight jacket.
I'll tell you one thing. Any actual, living girl who watches that commercial and likes the song in the commercial, definitely wouldn't mind shopping at J.C. Penny.
Actors Playing Themselves
Have you ever seen actors guest-starring on skit comedy shows, like Saturday Night Live, trying to play themselves? They can't do it. They can play Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull or Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption, but they can't play themselves. Maybe it's because anytime you "act" like yourself, you're being similar to yourself, not actually you. Once an actor is reading lines (usually written by someone else), he's only acting like he might act.
Now, acting like yourself after a sex-change, that's doable. It might not be a lot of fun for a method actor like Robert De Niro, but it's doable.
Award Shows
All awards shows are identical to the Miss America Pageant. You need the exact same qualifications to win an award on any of these shows. You need to look good, be "socially conscious", and have lots of friends.
It's just that each awards show has its own bogus premise which viewers just play along with. A premise that no one really believes because no one ever actually agrees with the award panel's choices. I mean, what does everyone talk about on the day after an awards show? We talk about how none of us can believe that such and such got the award for this or that.
As long as you fulfill the above "qualifications", you'll win an award. The show's premise is bullshit, and everyone knows it. For the Academy Awards, it's movies. For the Grammy's, it's music. For Miss America, it's intelligence.
Public Advocacy Groups
Why is it that TV news glorifies organizations which sue companies, doctors, and hospitals for so-called "endangering the public", but on the next segment, they'll blame everything on "ambulance-chasing lawyers"?
The so-called journalists should admit that the "public advocacy organizations" they glorify are made up of ambulance chasing lawyers! It's just that instead of advertising in the yellow pages or between segments of a TV game show, they advertise on the seven-o-clock news.
Signing off,
JR
