Getting out the gun, my grammar teachers would want to be blasted right between the dangling participles, he thought.
The Associated Press just taught me some new grammar rules. In an AP article entitled Clintons Vow to Make Kerry Next President, which appeared on Yahoo sometime before 10:25 PM ET, David Espo reported:
"Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton vowed Monday night to make John Kerry the next president...
"'We Democrats will bring the American people a positive campaign...,' said the former president in remarks prepared for delivery."
The Associated Press has just taught us that you can "vow" to do something on "Monday night" without yet making any vows on Monday night. This article appeared as Hillary Clinton was speaking live on stage at the Democratic National Convention before she even introduced Bill, the guy who was quoted as having vowed.
Technically, I guess you can "say" something "in remarks prepared for delivery". However, if you use a speechwriter, do you really say your remarks before you speak them?
After you're done pondering that one, here's one more for you. In an article that was to appear along side the above at the exact same time (this one becoming available at approx. 10:54 PM ET), writer Ron Fournier opted for the future tense:
AP: Clinton to Urge U.S. to Back Kerry
Sounds a little more honest, doesn't it, considering it hadn't happened yet? But in the body of the article, we see a rarely seen tense. See if you can identify it:
"Former President Clinton was to declare..."
"the twice-elected former president was to say..."
"Clinton was to add his voice to a chorus..."
"...Clinton was to say."
"Clinton was to tell..."
"he was to take a jab..."
What is this, some kind of mystical Harry Potter shit? I'm no grammarian, but maybe a good name for this tense would be the "past hypothetical".
Clinton "was to say" something, but I guess whether he ended up saying it is up for grabs. At least Merlin over at the Associated Press knew. Clinton "was to take a jab", too. Now that's exemplary construction. I gotta say, I'm thoroughly impressed that those bastards have figured out how to report on the future as if it already happened.
When I write "was to appear", I know it because, eventually, it did appear. You just might not have known what the hell I was talking about.
