Cue the Cancer Music
Who writes the music that's played on cancer commercials? You know, those commercials for cancer hospitals and cancer drugs? There's always some sappy instrumental song playing in the background that's supposed to make you feel like "Gee, these guys must really care about my cancer."
When the commercial isn't directed at cancer patients, then the goal seems to be to trigger maximum sympathy in 30 seconds or less. It's like some third-rate chef took a big bowl and combined one part tragedy, one part hope, and one part quiet dignity, then stuck his dirty, unwashed hands in the bowl and mixed.
I've never teared up during one of these commercials, but I have said:
"Jesus H. Christ, not another goddamn cancer commercial."
I'd love to hear the CD that the production studio uses to select this stuff. It's probably one sappy piece of shit after another. Every musician who never made a sale to the Lifetime movie of the week gets his life's work archived on CD with fifty or sixty other depressing failures. Can you imagine having your song which you wrote as a result of the death of your baby show up as track number seventeen on a CD entitled "Poignant Background Music for TV and Radio Production, Vol. VIII"?
That's enough to inspire you to write real music.
World War is Funny
There seems to be nothing funnier to a liberal than a whole bunch of different countries wanting to blow us up at once. The more terrorist threats you mention (Iran, North Korea, Syria, etc.) the funnier it is to liberals. When you suggest defending yourself against one of these hilarious threats, the liberal's stock answer is: "What are we going to do, go to war with everybody?" Like the fact that you want to acknowledge the existence of more than one threat at a time somehow disqualifies your proposal for dealing with any one of these particular threats.
No, you dumb fuck, we don't need to go to war with everybody. After the third or fourth American hydrogen bomb, most of these assholes will get the point.
WMD Pussies
Probably the biggest pussies in the political sphere are people who used to back the war with Iraq, but now claim to be duped by Bush. What a convenient way of reversing your political position retroactively.
I have to admit, I never thought that this Democratic propaganda of "Bush misled us on WMDs" would ever have legs. Then again, nor did I think "the LA Police department framed O.J." would be successful, but man, was I a fucking moron. Ok, the WMDs haven't been found. (Not counting the ones Saddam actually used.) But to disagree with going to war with Iraq is basically to disagree with bombing some random Middle-Eastern country that supports terrorism. That was a correct thing to do. Could we have chosen a better target? Probably. But like they say, it's not the gift, it's the thought that counts.
Computer-Generated Assholes
I'm waiting for a movie that features 100,000,000,000 computer-generated soldiers beating the fuck out of each other. We really don't have enough soldiers on a single movie screen at once.
It'll give these computer graphics geeks something to do. Then they can sit in a theater with each other just before they go back to their convention hotels and fuck, waiting to accept awards from each other, and applaud the technical skill involved to produce the most magnificent film without a soul in existence.
Thanks, guys. You're like Hitler's engineers who produced those really great gas chambers. Maybe the extermination of a culture isn't as bad, but the last time I was in a movie theater, it sure smelled like gas.
