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Just got back from the MXPX concert at Irving Plaza, NYC. My ears are still ringing, as you'd expect. (Though the right one is ringing more than the left, due to my being positioned near the huge speaker up front on the right.)
But what's hurting worse than my right ear is my back. My neck is doing pretty well at this point, though it wasn't too great a little earlier. The reason my back is still aching is because (a) persistent back problems, and (b) despite my persistent back problems, I didn't hesitate to pick up some sixteen-year-old girl and throw her up onto the crowd.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes, she asked for it.
Unfortunately, she couldn't reciprocate, however. There was a six-foot-five guy standing next to me who helped me get up on top of the crowd a few times, though. The last time I went crowd surfing before tonight was probably - shit, four or five years ago. If you haven't surfed a crowd, then most likely, you hold one general opinion about the idea. That being something along the lines of: "What kind of stupid moron would do something like that?" All I can say is: you'd be surprised how fun it can be. It's the closest thing to flying some of us will ever get. (Ok, so in your flying fantasies, you don't necessarily have some guy's hand jabbing you in the crotch, but let's not get technical.)
By the way, the key to crowd surfing is to get someone to hurl you up on the crowd when you actually know the lyrics to the song being sung. There's nothing more embarrassing than flailing around wildly on top of a crowd of people like a maniac and not being able to sing along with the band.
I discovered the meaning of "relief" tonight. "Relief" is what happens in the middle of a mosh pit when you feel a bulge rubbing up against your ass. Specifically, relief is when you turn around after feeling the bulge rubbing up against your ass and see that, no, it's not what or who you expected. Actually, it's a girl dancing behind you, and that must have been her knee, or the back of her hand, or something. That's a relief.
Sometimes, "the bulge" can get you in trouble. One time a girl turned around and gave me a totally evil look because she felt "the bulge". The thing is, I had actually been putting my hands in front of me so she didn't have to, well, you know, be submitted to an actual bulge. (Quite considerate, if you ask me.) What this girl had actually felt was a completely artificial bulge (i.e., my hand), but the thing is, she didn't know that. She might have gone home that night thinking she had received the bulge, when actually all she got was the hand. But hold on here a second. Even if it was the bulge, was she trying to tell me that that was the only bulge she felt the entire night? That has to be a statistical impossibility. Even at a Blink 182 concert, there has to be at least two or three bulges. And the way you get bounced around in a mosh pit, you're bound to get bulged. Personally, I think that girl's anti-bulge sentiment was completely unjustified.
Even it were a real bulge.
I also realized something about bouncers tonight. Bouncers would make great obstetricians. When you come crashing down over the gate near the stage after riding a good crowd-surfing wave, those guys catch you like a baby being ejected from the womb. It's the bouncers' job to catch the crowd surfers, place them gently on the crowd, then send them back for more. (Remember, this was an MXPX show. At other concerts, you might get a fist into your cheek or an elbow into your stomach. I think some places create "no crowd surfing" rules without telling anyone just so the bouncers can beat the hell out of you.)
I noticed something else interesting tonight. (In the midst of slamming back and forth between other MXPX fans and shouting the lyrics to "Responsibility" or their cover of "Should I Stay or Should I Go".) What I noticed was that there's a very specific style a band member needs to have in order to address a crowd by a city name. I must have been addressed by the name of "New York City", I don't know, eight or ten times tonight including the two opening bands. Now, if the concert was in a place like Annandale-on-Hudson (a real place), none of the bands would have sounded any good.
For example:
How ya doin', Annandale-on-Hudson? Let's go, Annandale-on-Hudson! Are you ready to rock, Annandale-on-Hudson?
No matter what your annunciation, you're just not going to pull that off.
However, even with an easier city name like New York City, I realized that not every band member has the right, how you say, je ne sais qua. (Only the MXPX guy could pull it off.) I guess some things can only be said if you're "cool". (If you've watched the show Sports Night, you might remember the discussion of the word "baby". Same deal.)
Punk rock, as I've said so many times before, is the last bastion of rock and roll. Tonight, everyone at Irving Plaza got great melodies, loud guitars, and one incredibly fun song after another. I've had the privilege of seeing Chuck Berry live, and I see the similarities. Granted, when I saw Chuck Berry his fingers might not have been moving quite as fast on those frets as they used to, but damn, he was having a great time - just like the guys in MXPX tonight. And, I might add, it's no coincidence that almost every punk band does a cover of a 50's song. (MXPX does "Oh Boy" by Buddy Holly and a great "Donna" by Ritchie Valens.) In fact, I credit the movie "La Bamba" for getting me into punk rock. I went straight from Ritchie Valens to the Ramones.
If there was a theme for the show tonight, it was stated by the band themselves in one of their songs:
"I don't want to let my life fly by."
No one at Irving Plaza was letting that happen tonight, I can tell you that.
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