Just to make the picture clear for you, let me mention that one reason my mother was watching the game at my apartment was that I have a big-screen TV. In other words, we didn't have to squint to see anything. There were plenty of pixels per square inch of breast.
Now, I don't know about you, but I have a very basic litmus test for obscenity. If I can look at it while sitting next to my mother and I don't get embarrassed, it's not obscene. Granted, if you had a camera on me at the time, you would have noticed a greater than average degree of pupil dilation. And I think I may have even said the word "interesting". But no way, not one chance in hell, did I ever think that within a week I would be hearing about FCC investigations.
The next morning, I saw that Matt Drudge was hyping it up as would be expected. The guy is a great newsman, but inventing controversy is more his style than flashing football scores that everyone already knows. Little did I know at the time that there were people out there, like in the real world, who were actually bothered by this breast. There were people, thousands of them, who took time out of their lives to dial a telephone in the name of this cause.
And then came the talk shows. And the syndicated columns by conservatives. What CBS did was "offensive" and, only by slimy, gutless implication, "hurt kids". FCC Chairman Michael Powell said, "I am outraged at what I saw during the halftime show of the Super Bowl...Our nation's children, parents and citizens deserve better." Notice which group Powell lists first: the innocent goddamn children.
Outraged? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm outraged at you, you stupid religious cunt. We're talking about a part of the female body which is nearly as visible at the goddamn beach as it was at the Super Bowl. The tits I saw in my friend's father's Penthouse collection haven't made me rape anyone yet, and I think we can be equally sure that one second of one breast will be equally non-eventful in the average eight-year-old boy's rape career.
